Go Ahead
by GallavichGirl
Summary: Continuing the Miles and Tristan romance from Thunderstruck onwards, will it work out for the best? As the new season airs I will try to incorporate any developments into updates. Please forgive me for any OOC moments and show inaccuracies. For mature readers, as usual. Other than that, Team Triles, please enjoy the ride!
1. French Lessons

Chapter 1:

Miles was annoyed. He was sitting at his desk, and the last thing he was thinking about was French. He was watching Tristan, who was perched on the edge of his chair with his ankles tucked behind each other. He was a few people in front of him on the right, three people to be exact. Miles had counted immediately when Tristan hadn't sat next to him at the beginning of class. He didn't even seem interested him, instead focusing on the most beautiful language in the world. Miles didn't understand how time could move so slowly. He was pretty sure they had been in this class for centuries, endlessly repeating aloud French verbs in different tenses.

He instead was busy drinking Tristan in, he liked the black shirt he was wearing against his pale skin. It made him stand out in comparison to all of the other tanned students in the room. He looked like a vampire. His red skinny jeans didn't help either, nicely framing his long slim legs as if he was trying to get Miles' attention. They matched the shade of scarlet his lips were, swollen from the way he had been biting them in concentration.

Maybe in a way he was thinking about French, if you could include envisioning having Tristan back up against a wall with his tongue in his mouth. Miles chuckled darkly to himself at the thought. He saw Tristan's eyes glance over to him at the noise, and so he kept his eyes down on his textbook and restrained the hysterical laughter that was threatening to escape out of him to a smirk, wanting to keep his less than pure thoughts strictly to himself.

Ever since the night of the storm, something had changed for Miles. He didn't know where it had sprung from, or if it had always been there and he just hadn't noticed but he couldn't get Tristan out of his mind. Suddenly there was this feeling of want there, and it was eating away at him.

They hadn't spoken since the morning after they had kissed. Tristan had gone home later that day and as the school had been trashed by the fierce weather they hadn't been expected to return to classes straight away. They'd exchanged the odd text about how messed up Degrassi was, and how it was cool they got a week off. They had even arranged to have another movie night to replace the one that had been so rudely interrupted by Frankie and Chewy, but Tris had bailed on him last minute, saying that something important had come up. Miles was pretty sure that 'something important' meant he was worried about what might happen if he had come over, and to be honest, he'd been tying himself up in knots because of the anticipation of what might happen all day himself. He'd been slightly relieved when Tristan had told him he couldn't make it, because at least he could relax again, but he felt more disappointed at not being able to find out what was going to happen, especially considering he'd gone over so many scenarios in his head all day.

When they had kissed, it hadn't felt anything like how Miles had expected it to. Even though Tristan had kissed him once before, to actually kiss him back was very, very different. His mouth was soft, for some reason Miles hadn't thought it would be. Him being a guy and all that, he had expected it to feel rough, but it hadn't. It was warm and sweet, and he tasted weird, but a good weird, like a deep cinnamon flavour with a hint of a citrus twang. When Tristan had first put his mouth on his, it barely lasted a second and it hadn't been enough to satisfy his curiosity. Miles' body did the work before his brain had even had a chance to process what was happening. He remembered leaning back in, his hands coming up to Tristan's hips before he'd given them permission, pushing him back against the wall so he could get them closer. He'd felt Tristan's hands tighten on his shoulders, and he'd taken that as his agreement that he hadn't crossed a line. Or maybe that he had, but neither of them gave a fuck. He had felt the hesitation in Tristan's hands though, as if he wasn't really sure whether to push him back or let him get closer. As if he was trying to mentally calculate whether their friendship was worth the risk, but god knows he did his best to kiss that doubt out of him as quickly as he could and Tristan hadn't pushed him away so he must have done a decent job. He'd barely even got to register how good his body felt pressed against his before Winston interrupted them, it wasn't the first time his best friend had been a prime time cock block.

'Monsieur Hollingsworth!' came a screeching female voice that tore him out viciously out of his all-consuming daydream.

'Yeah?' he answered still dazed as he adjusted back to reality. 'Oui?' he added as an afterthought, not wanting to be attacked with any complicated questions about French verbs.

'Is there something you wish to share with the class?' his teacher asked, in her heavy accent as she threw him a look that was full of disgust considering he seemed to have better things to think about than the importance of being able to speak proper Francais in his future life.

'No, sorry Mademoiselle, I just zoned out for a second.' He replied, batting his long dark eyelashes at her and giving her his best bad boy smile.

'Kindly pay attention in my lessons.' She replied, and Miles physically watched her go weak in the knees for him. Just like they all did. Her eyes softened and her body relaxed as her voice answered in a kinder tone. Women were easy and he knew just how to charm them, and he managed to do so with effortless expertise. It was a shame that right here and right now, a girl wasn't what was leaving his mind so wrecked. As she went back to teaching her irrelevant lesson, Miles felt the burn of Tristan's eyes on him, turning his attention to the boy that was leaving him mind blown he lifted his own gaze to meet them.

The second their eyes locked Miles could feel it, the weight of their unfinished business. The unanswered questions that they both needed to resolve. The wonder at what the fuck they even were right now. Can you go back to being best friends with someone you've just made out with? Miles didn't think so, the chemistry between them was unbearable and now he really wished Tris had come over to his last week, because at least then they could have set some boundaries before going back to school. Miles watched as Tristan's eyes sparkled, contemplating firstly what to say, and secondly whether to say anything at all.

'You okay?' Tristan eventually mouthed, lips turning up in a smirk that said everything that Miles knew he was thinking.

'Talk at lunch.' Miles whispered back and he watched as his blonde counterpart nodded slowly, wondering what exactly they were going to talk about and whether he was ready for it.

Miles didn't have any answers, in fact, he didn't even have any questions right now. He just knew that he wasn't done with Tristan yet. At this rate, he wasn't sure he was ever going to be. He glanced up at the clock in desperation, it was 10:50 am. Just another hour and a half to go, this was going to be a long day.


	2. Privacy

Miles was surprised he hadn't killed himself during English Lit. He had debated numerous times whether to just pick up his stuff and walk out due to the irrelevance of the lesson to his life. Especially since he couldn't concentrate on anything except the clock. Why did they never teach you anything relevant in school? Like how to live up to your dad's expectations, how to heal from a broken heart? How to work out who you were and what you wanted? The last thing he cared about right now was Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. Although to be fair, he couldn't help noticing the irony of the story when he compared it to his own predicament right now. A magic spell casted by a naughty sprite had screwed up everyone's love lives. Sounded about right.

Now that lunch had finally rolled round, he was using his back to prop himself up against his locker, eyes up, staring at the ceiling as he pondered his fate. He'd dropped a text to Tristan during the lesson to meet him here, ten minutes or so after the bell rang. He'd prayed Tristan's phone was on silent, the last thing he wanted to happen was to have their meeting delayed because of an impromptu detention. Slyly he'd seen Tristan reach into the back pocket of his jeans, find his phone and read his text under the desk. He hadn't replied, he hadn't even looked at Miles in acknowledgment.

He couldn't lie, that had annoyed him. Was it just him that was desperate to see him? Urgent to finally have a chance to discuss what the fuck was going on between them. If so, then that didn't seem fair. That's not the way it used to be. He remembered back in the day when it used to be the other way round. Tristan used to run around after him, he'd joined basketball try outs, been at all his house parties, they'd even had lunch dates at Chunky Chicken. When exactly did the tables turn?

Tristan turning down the hallway with Zoe distracted him from his in depth analysis of their friendship. He was laughing with her, gossiping about some drama that he probably didn't give a fuck about, looking like he didn't have a care in the world. Still though he found himself smiling involuntarily, he liked seeing Tris looking happy.

'I'll see you later and we can carry on this debate then!' Zoe sang as she ran off to spend her lunch break doing something more fun than crawling the corridors, her brown hair flowing elegantly behind her.

'Yeah don't worry! I'll still prove you wrong later!' Tristan yelled after her in a jokey way as he strolled up to Miles who was still leaning against his locker. Miles hoped he looked hot as he tried his best to look careless himself. His dark hair had grown out a bit and was flicking down to his eyes, framing his face nicely.

'So, you wanted to see me?' Tristan said, his voice full of promise and the cheeky smirk that had appeared on his face wasn't lost on Miles.

'What exactly were you two debating?' Miles asked, curious. He'd suddenly been overcome by nervousness now he had Tristan in front of him, willing to talk. He'd run through what he had to say time and time again in his head when they weren't at school. Now he didn't really know how to get the words out.

'Deciding who we think is hotter out of Zig and Eli.' Tristan said, so fucking nonchalantly Miles immediately felt his stomach twist.

'Oh yeah? Whose team you on?' Miles asked, eyes going dark with annoyance. He didn't even know why he was asking, he didn't really want to hear the answer.

'Well I can't really imagine me on Team Novak. Can you?' Tristan replied, cocking an eyebrow as if he just wanted to wind Miles up.

Miles hated Zig. He hated every inch of the guy. He'd messed his life up again and again, he'd taken Maya away from him by preaching his pathetic sob story to anyone who would pay him a moment's attention. He'd been the third unwanted person in the most important relationship of his life yet. He'd literally taken everything that was important away from him, and twisted and abused it until it was unsalvageable. Just thinking about him made his blood boil.

'Anyway –' Tristan continued sensing the tension, 'What did you want to see me about?'

'You know what.' Miles retorted not quite being able shake the frustration he felt firstly at the fucking mention of Zig's name and secondly the fact that Tristan was trying to act like what had happened last week hadn't happened at all. He saw the sassiness drain out of Tristan at his tone, his eyes stopped sparkling and turned serious.

'I don't know what to say.' He stated. 'I know it happened, I know it felt good, but I don't want to get hung up on something that's never gonna happen.' He continued, turning the volume down on his voice so that no one would overhear them.

Miles scanned the area around them, everyone was on the move for lunch, talking in their own huddles, discussing the daily waste of their lives that Degrassi was. They needed to be somewhere private, somewhere they could actually talk.

'Come with me.' Miles whispered and he dashed off down the corridor at top speed, on the hunt for a quieter spot. He could sense Tris at his heels, they were the same height, both with long legs and they could both move fast when they had to. After disregarding the canteen, the common room and the greenhouse he turned a sharp right, leading them in to an empty classroom.

'Better.' He confirmed out loud as his blonde crush shut the door behind them.

'Depends what for.' Tristan stated. Miles didn't have time to dwell on all the possible things that could occur between them both in an empty classroom with no one else around. They had to sort this out.

'Who said this isn't gonna happen?' Miles questioned, wanting to know what sort of impression he'd given off that had crushed his late night fantasies before they'd even really got started. He was a teenager and his urges were relentless yet consistent and they were all for the guy in front of him. He had told Tristan at his that it had felt right, what more could he have given him that symbolised a gigantic fucking green light.

'Well last time I checked, you were straight.' Tristan accused and Miles could sense the bitterness in his tone. That cleared things up a bit, Tristan thought this was his way of getting over Maya, he thought he was Miles irrelevant experimental rebound.

'I don't know what I am.' Miles replied honestly. 'Straight, gay, bi, I haven't got a clue. Doesn't mean I don't want you.'

'I know you don't want me. You want Maya. Weren't you saying a few weeks ago how much you loved her?' Tristan said avoiding his eyes.

'Yeah and then if you remember last week we were kissing.' Miles countered.

'It was a mistake. We're friends, we're best friends. I don't want to put that at risk.' Tristan said. That was a fair point. He didn't want to put it at risk either, put they kind of already had. The lines had already been crossed.

'Look Tris, just forget about Maya for a second. Forget about all the fucking stuff that makes this so complicated. I just want to know what you want, because if we want the same thing, then I don't see the point in us pretending. What sort of friendship is that?'

None of what was coming out of Miles mouth was what he had practiced. It was then that he realised you can never prepare yourself for moments in life like this. The moments that are important, the moments that decide where you're going to go from here on out. He could see Tris arguing with himself inside his head, battling between pretending he didn't really mind and the truth.

'I want you.' He eventually answered with a sigh.

'I want you too.' Miles rushed out, trying to reassure Tris he wasn't in any doubt about that.

'But that doesn't mean we can be anything. All of them things that make it complicated? Those things are important.'

'I'm not saying it has to be serious. But I don't think we can go back to how we were, not until we see how this goes. If I tried to tell you that I understand this, that I get it, then I'd be lying. I don't know where this has come from and I don't know why, but I don't wanna lose you.'

Miles felt like his heart was on the line. The one person who had never walked away from him, with the exception of Chewy anyway, was Tristan. For once it wasn't him with the power, in that second he gave Tris the choice, the choice to give up on him if he couldn't do it. If he wanted to leave, he was free to, no strings.

'Can't we just –' Tristan began before shaking his head, re-evaluating what he was going to say, but Miles didn't want that. He didn't want well thought out words. He wanted whatever felt real.

'What?' he pushed.

Tristan looked up at him properly for the first time in a week and looked him square in the eye, finding his determination to voice how he felt.

'Can't we just take it slow?'

Miles thought about that. Slow. Slow wasn't something he'd really bargained on. He'd been imagining a secret affair, fast and risky. Scenario's that had his blood pumping and adrenaline racing. On thinking about it, he should have known better. This was Tristan, he was gentle and sweet. In time, Miles thought, maybe he would change that, but right now, he'd take what he could get.

'Slow sounds good.' Miles answered, a smile tugging at his mouth, lifting all of his features with it.


	3. Rendezvous

Chapter 3:

When Miles got home that night, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders but at the same time, he couldn't lie, there were a number of thoughts that were making him feel uneasy. The feeling of relief came from knowing that Tristan, however slow they were going to take it, wanted to see where this took them. Still, a lot of contradictory thoughts had Miles' head feeling even more confused that it had been this morning. He was worried about keeping boundaries in place, but at the same time he wanted to cross all of them. He didn't want Tristan to be his boyfriend, but he also didn't want him with anyone else except him. The worst thing was that he really didn't want Tris to get hurt. One valid home truth that Chewy had told him was that he always hurt the people he cared about. He never meant to, but he did all the same. Whenever he got hold of something good in his life, he felt compelled to destroy it, because it was easier that way, because then at least no one could hurt him first. It still hurt to lose people that were important to you, but it wasn't quite the same emptiness that you felt when someone you treated well fucked you over for no reason. Miles had learnt from his dad that he wasn't good enough, so now he didn't even bother to try and convince anyone any different.

Miles called this place home very, very loosely. It was magnificent, with its huge rooms, swimming pool and endless stock of booze for him to steal, but it didn't feel like a home. It was the curse of being rich, a life of beauty and luxury, but it lacked anything that had any real personal value. It was like a show home, not a place where you felt comfortable to be after a long day. Miles wasn't deluded, he knew that he'd gotten used to his indulgent life and he probably would struggle adjusting to anything different, but that didn't stop him wanting what most normal people had. A decent house with a couple of bedrooms and a kitchen. More importantly, a safe haven to go to when things got rough where you felt protected, instead of getting home at night knowing that everything around you had its place and those things were probably more valuable than you were.

He chucked his backpack down in the lounge and went on the hunt for something to eat. He was starving, he'd been so wound up all day trying to get things sorted with Tristan he hadn't had any lunch. After deciding on the leftover pizza from the night before and a huge bag of cheesy chips he threw himself on the sofa in front of the good TV ready to try and remember what relaxation felt like. He didn't know where anyone was, his Dad probably busy getting things ready for his campaign to become Mayor, his Mum likely to be out shopping and his sister who'd usually still be hanging out at Degrassi with her friends and Chewy.

Suddenly his cell rang, and he sighed as he rummaged through his backpack not really wanting to have to talk to anyone right now. When he saw the caller ID though, he quickly changed his mind and answered.

'Sup Tris?' he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

'Where are you?' Tristan questioned, his voice sounding firm.

'I'm at home, why?' Miles replied, leaning forward and pressing the phone closer to his ear, trying to work out where Tristan was and what was going on in the background.

'Can I see you?'

Miles couldn't stop his heart jumping a bit, especially considering the last time he and Tristan had been alone together at his. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but there was something in Tristan's voice that stopped him from saying no, plus, he didn't really want to.

'Yeah sure man, come over whenever.' He answered, wondering what had left Tris so determined to see him alone, when earlier on that day he'd seemed pretty undecided about the very thought.

'I'm on my way.' Tristan confirmed, and cut their call dead.

Miles sat back in the sofa, his heartbeat faster than normal. It wouldn't take Tris long to get there, he knew the secret shortcut to his place. Quickly, he gathered up all of the rubbish that he'd managed to accumulate around him in about ten minutes and squashed it all in the trashcan. He didn't know why the fuck he was cleaning up just because Tristan was coming over, he never had before. But the butterflies in his stomach were eating at him, and he wanted to do something to keep him busy and pass the time.

After making the lounge spotless, fixing his hair a bit, changing his shirt twice and flicking through hundreds of TV channels a knock finally came at the front door. Taking a deep breath Miles got up and walked through the hallway, he could see Tristan's silhouette at the door. Slowly, he turned the lock and opened it, staring at the fucking hot guy in front of him.

Miles had never realised recently how good looking Tris actually was. Now every time he looked at him he noticed his flawless skin, wide eyes and cherry red lips. That was enough to get him feeling flustered. He watched intently as Tristan removed the hand that was combing through his short blonde hair as he turned to face him.

'Is anyone home?' Tristan asked.

'No.' Miles responded, with a shake of his head.

'Good.' Tristan replied, and he pushed past him to get inside. Miles pulled the door shut behind him and double locked it, just making sure they wouldn't be interrupted by any more unwanted visitors. The last thing they needed was someone eavesdropping on their complicated predicament right now. But before he even had a chance to turn back around to face Tris, he felt a hand on his shoulder that shoved him hard so that his back was flat against the door.

Shock winded him and his brain wasn't working even though he knew what was happening. He was frozen. Tristan had his mouth on his, kissing him, hard. His long hands gripping tight on his shoulders, clasping into the material of his shirt, holding him against the door. The force of him stunned Miles, but eventually his body jumped into action and his eyes slipped shut as he started to kiss him back. His hands came up automatically, both of them on Tristan's neck, turning his head slightly so he could kiss him deeper, striving for some control of the situation. His mouth was warm and wet, his full lips sliding over his as he loosed his grip on his shoulders. His hands moved down to his waist, pulled their bodies closer. Because they were the same height, everywhere that touched matched.

Miles felt like his body was on fire. Everywhere Tristan touched felt sensitive. When his hands stilled just above his hips he bit at Tristan's bottom lip, wrenching a moan from him that pulsed blood downwards. He'd never kissed someone like this before, it had never felt so hot and needy. Tristan suddenly broke their mouths apart and Miles felt the urge to scream in annoyance. That was until he began licking and biting at his neck. His head fell back against the door, eyes shut and mouth open, giving him better access as he pushed the tender skin harder into Tristan's mouth. He was practically begging him to mark him. One of Tris's hands came up and pulled at his hair and god knows the noise that he produced was a sound he had never made before in his whole life.

Miles couldn't stop it. He couldn't find the will to push Tristan off him, but at the same time he knew that if this went much further he wouldn't be able to hold back anymore. He was desperate to have him, but something was pushing at him not to rush it, to want to know that it was what Tristan really wanted, before they made a mistake they would never be able to come back from. He hated his mind for making him doubt something that felt so fucking right, but Tristan was important, he wasn't someone he could just give up. So against all his better judgement, he tried to find his voice as the blonde boy continued assaulting his neck.

'Tris –' he managed to whisper.

'Mm?' Tristan murmured in acknowledgment.

'Not exactly taking it slow.' Miles rushed out as Tristan licked up his neck, bringing them up to the same height.

Miles couldn't help the disappointment that flooded through him when Tristan took his mouth off him. He leaned against him, their foreheads touching and closed his eyes as a sigh fell from his swollen lips. Miles was slightly glad that at least he felt just as denied as he did.

'I know, sorry.' Tristan replied, even though he didn't sound very sorry, and Miles was glad he didn't, he certainly wasn't apologising. He could still feel the blood pulsing warmly at his neck where Tristan had sucked on his skin.

'I just know this isn't gonna last very long, so I might as well make the most of it.' He continued.

That bothered Miles. Why did Tris have so little faith in him? Okay so he hadn't exactly ever been the boyfriend of the year to any of the girls he dated, but couldn't he feel that this was different? Plus Tristan wasn't his boyfriend. He'd never even looked at a guy before, this was all new to him. Wasn't the fact he was willing to risk everything he thought he was to find out whether this was real enough to show him that he could feel this too?

On instinct he wanted to push Tristan away and tell him that if he really felt like that to just fuck off. He'd learnt that when things get tricky, run. Run and find something new, something easier, but he didn't want to run. This was where he wanted to be. With Tristan, with or without this new plus side. Having him pleasure him was just a pretty amazing bonus. So, he placed his hands on top of Tristan's that were resting back at his shoulders and looked at him directly in the eyes.

'I'm not going anywhere okay?' and he knew in that second, he knew that it felt like a promise.


	4. Movie Marathon

Miles wasn't sure when they had both fallen asleep, but it had happened. After their pretty heated make-out session against the door they had both known they needed to cool off a bit if they were really going to take this slow. He'd suggested they go for a swim, and he hadn't realised at the time what a brilliant suggestion it had been. Seeing Tristan shirtless making use of his long limbs as he swam a couple of lengths in the water hadn't exactly calmed Miles down, but it did give him his first proper chance to appreciate Tristan's body.

Back when they had used to get changed together for basketball practice, Miles hadn't been that interested in staring at Tristan. Besides, Tris had always tried to get changed as quickly as possible so that none of the other guys had a chance to make any comments. Miles knew that Tris was comfortable in his own skin, but there was this deep seated concern in him about making other people feel uncomfortable. Not that he ever did. Everyone knew that Tris liked guys, but Miles had never met anyone who had a real problem with it.

Now though, Tristan's creamy skin was at the forefront of his mind, and he definitely wasn't complaining. He observed how even though Tristan didn't work out every day, or even really care about working out, his muscles had this subtle definition that Miles liked. His body was marked by a soft tone that framed him delicately but it symbolised strength and suppleness. In addition, his skin coated with glistening water made him look like he was glowing under the sunlight. There was something about the fact that Miles wasn't going to be able to break this boy that made him excited.

Once he realised he was gawping Miles jumped into the pool himself. The cool water against his hot skin felt like heaven. As he surfaced he drew a huge breath of oxygen into his lungs and pushed his body back under, blocking everything out. He had never felt such relief at being able to escape from reality, just for a few seconds as he breathed the oxygen out of his lungs making bubbles surface to the top of the water. His body felt weightless and there was a sense of freedom that came with that. When he couldn't hold his breath any longer, and his chest was pleading for air, he pushed his foot against the bottom of the pool and cut through the water, the second he resurfaced he sucked the oxygen in like it was a blessing. Wiping at his eyes he glanced around, getting the world back in to focus, to find Tris drifting at the other end of the pool.

'I thought you were thinking of drowning under there!' Tris called over.

'I did consider it!' He joked back, kicking out his legs to swim closer to him.

'You gonna crash here tonight?' Miles asked, genuinely wondering whether Tris was planning on going home as he noticed the sun starting to set over the neighbourhood.

'Um- yeah, why not. What we gonna do?' Tris replied, bobbing up and down in the water.

Miles thought about that, what were they going to do? What could they do they do that didn't take much thinking, that would bring them a bit of peace amidst all of the drama that had been going on lately?

'How about that movie marathon?' He asked, thinking that a movie sounded good. Quiet, with conversation optional and not emotionally exhausting.

'Yeah okay, I'm not watching a rom-com though.' Tris responded.

He was fine with that, they didn't need to watch a fairy-tale love story that reminded them how screwed up their own relationship was in comparison.

'Hot Fuzz or The Hangover?' Miles countered.

'Oh Hot Fuzz, definitely.' Tristan grinned.

Miles smiled back, this was what he liked about his connection with Tristan. It felt so easy. It felt different from the dynamics he'd experienced with girls because it felt like they were equals. It probably shouldn't have felt as easy as it did because he couldn't predict Tristan. He didn't know what would piss him off and what would make him laugh, he didn't know his limits, he didn't know whether he would just walk away or cling on harder. Yet even though Tris always left him on the edge of his seat, he found that it still never stopped feeling natural. He didn't have to pretend around Tris, and Tris didn't have to pretend around him.

'Let's get the good TV before Frankie gets back.' Miles said climbing out of the pool athletically, subtly trying to show off the muscles in his arms that he'd been working on. Shrugging his shirt back on and shaking the water out of his hair he casually strolled back in to the house and headed to his room quickly digging out a couple of hoodies because there's no point in watching a movie unless you're in one hundred percent comfort.

On entering the lounge he saw Tristan stretched out on the couch, having already found Hot Fuzz in the vast selection of movies the good TV had available, digging in to the bag of chips he hadn't had a chance to start earlier. He chucked his favourite blue hoodie right at Tristan's face, his aim on point.

'What's this for?' Tristan asked.

'Gotta be comfy for a movie night.' Miles replied matter of factly, ignoring the inquisitive look Tristan threw at him that seemed to be debating whether or not to wear his clothes. In the end he decided to accept the offer and pulled the hoodie on. Miles couldn't help how his heart tugged a bit seeing Tris in it, he looked right somehow, like he had marked him just as well as Tristan had if his bruised neck was anything to go by.

'Budge up.' Miles joked as he pushed at Tristan's long legs with his foot, trying to make some space on the couch.

Tristan obliged happily as he shimmied up a bit, making room for Miles to crash down next to him.

'I fucking love this film.' Miles claimed as he pulled his knees up to his chest as Tristan pressed play, getting settled as he reached over and nicked a huge handful of chips in reciprocation of Tristan's silent offer as he held the bag out to him. There was still tension in the air between them, desire constantly buzzing at a low level. There was also confusion still there, questions neither of them wanted to ask or answer because all it did was just make this even more complex. Right now they both just wanted to do what they always did, enjoy each other's company.

Miles didn't remember falling asleep, but he did remember getting about twenty minutes into the film and feeling absolutely knackered. The chaos that had been rattling around his mind recently had had him wired, up at all hours imagining every single way his life might play out. Now just being here with Tristan feeling calm, feeling truly relaxed and content, he allowed the tiredness to creep up on him and allowed his eyes to drift shut.

He might not have been able to remember when just listening to the movie and laughing in the right places had turned into a catnap, but he did remember waking up. He was too warm, blinking his eyes open he noticed they didn't feel too sore. Then he realised that's because the sun had set and the evening had come alive, the only light in the room the TV that which was now rolling credits across the screen. It took him a few seconds to clock on to why he was so warm.

He was wrapped around Tristan like a rag doll, head on his chest and one arm curled around his waist. Tristan was asleep, lightly snoring with one arm protectively around Miles shoulders. Miles felt embarrassed, how had they ended up like this? He felt his cheeks redden but he didn't move, comforted by the steady beat of Tristan's heart against his left ear. So he focused on it harder and closed his eyes again, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breathed. Miles smiled to himself, noting that Tris must have been pretty battered too to fall asleep during the film, he was usually always so energetic. Miles hadn't realised how in tune they both were, they were so different, but so the same. That's why it worked.

He could have stayed like that all night, but as he heard a car pull up in the drive way, he knew it was time to move. He couldn't let his dad catch him and Tris curled up on the couch. That was one war he wasn't geared up for yet. Disappointment was the only emotion his dad ever seemed to possess towards him and that was when he tried his best. Finding out that he was seeing a dude would not go down well and he wasn't ready to face that. So gently, he pushed himself up and nudged Tristan lightly.

'Tris, wake up.' He muttered. In response he got a light groan from Tristan, who clearly didn't want to be disturbed from his slumber.

'Tris!' Miles pushed a little more urgently.

'Dude, you gotta wake up.'

Tris blinked his eyes open, startled by the interruption from his dream.

'My dad's back.' Miles stated, knowing that Tristan would know what that meant. Nodding in understanding Tristan moved quickly, sitting up straight and picking up the remote acting as if they had just been flicking through the channels looking for something watch.

As the front door slammed shut an almighty yell of Miles's full name rang through the house. Despite how badly he fought it, fear turned Miles gut over, his dad was pissed, and for whatever the reason, he did not want to face why.


	5. Carpe Diem

Against all his better judgement Miles got up from the couch and moved towards the bellowing voice of his dad. After asking Tristan to stay where he was he precariously left the room, trying to listen in and get a heads up as to why he was in trouble this time. He hadn't wanted Tris to see him and his dad have yet another argument, it was embarrassing and he never felt more pathetic than when his dad was making him feel like he was a complete waste of fucking space. He'd rather Tris kept idolising him than realising how weak he really was.

Accumulating all the courage he had left after years of endless psychological battering he sauntered bravely into the hallway where his dad was waiting for him.

'I know this is a big house, but that doesn't mean you need to yell.' Miles stated giving himself some personal kudos at how cocky he was managing to sound.

He watched as his dad did his best to compose himself, taking a deep breath and pursing his lips tight, but that didn't stop Miles being able to sense the fury that was radiating off of him.

'Did you break my eighteenth century china vase?' His dad accused calmly, getting straight to the point.

Oh fuck. Miles thought he had gotten away with that one. It had been an accident. Must have been about four days ago now, he'd been pacing around his dad's antique room thinking about what he would say to Tristan when he next saw him. Without thinking he'd spun on the spot, ready to pace the other way again, and had knocked the table that the vase was perched on. Pride and place of the room, he'd watched it fall and his reflexes had taken too long to jump into action. He had tried to save it, but before he'd got there the expensive object had hit the floor and there was china scattered everywhere. He'd quickly collected all of the pieces and splinters of porcelain he could find and disposed of them, cutting his fingers multiple times in the process, hoping no one would notice any time soon.

'It was an accident.' He started, looking down at the floor, all of his fake arrogance seeping out of him now he'd been caught bang to rights.

'Do you know how much that was worth?' His dad stuttered, his anger threatening to overcome him. He'd never physically hurt his son, not because he didn't want to, but because he was afraid of what he might do if he did.

'I'll pay you back, I promise.' Miles tried meagrely, wanting to get this over and done with as soon as possible.

'I don't think I'd ever see a return in my lifetime kid. You are the biggest waste of space I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. Time and time again you continue to let me down. I'm a busy man, I'm at the forefront of a campaign to be mayor, and I haven't got time to be watching you like your still a five year old.'

Miles let his dad rant on and on about his inadequacies. It wasn't anything he hadn't heard before, not that that stopped his blood boiling. He knew that his dad wished that he wasn't part of their family. He'd found the perfect son in Hunter and a dutiful daughter in Frankie. Even though he was the oldest, for some reason that meant the expectations for him had always been higher, and he'd never been able to meet them. Ironically, all Miles really wanted deep down was to be the man his dad wanted him to be, but he'd learnt a long time ago that was never going to happen.

'How do you always manage to be such a disappointment?' He dad asked rhetorically.

'Just keeping up appearances father.' Miles answered testily, done with the lecture. He watched as the famous Mr Hollingsworth's eyes flared in wrath, his nose screwed up in disgust at his insolent remark. Still at least it was reassuring to know his dad still acknowledged his failing existence, it was better to get bad attention than no attention.

'Get out of my sight.' His dad spat, turning his back to him and leaving him abandoned.

Miles willingly obeyed and stormed back through the mansion. He found Tristan exactly where he'd left him, legs crossed on the couch with his brow furrowed in concern. Maybe he had the same control over Tristan that his dad had over him. Slamming the door in frustration Miles crossed the room and straddled his blonde friend with benefits before he even had the chance to ask any questions.

'Kiss me.' He demanded, hands running through Tristan's hair, holding him there. When Tristan wrapped his arms around his lower back to stop him falling backwards Miles kissed him himself. He felt Tristan's hands caress lightly at where he was touching, trying to soothe him as he kissed him back, his pliant mouth responding without any question. This is what he needed, someone who adored him, without any doubts, someone who would want to take care of him, rather than someone like Maya who made it worse.

'Your family are around.' Tristan whispered, breaking their kiss and trying ridiculously hard to battle desire with reason. Miles didn't care anymore, he could feel that Tristan was hard underneath him, and even though he hadn't expected it to, it was turning him on. His body was humming with how Tris made him feel.

'I don't care.' He answered looping his arms around the back of Tristan's neck and leaning back in, having not had enough of how lax Tristan's lips seemed against his. Tentatively he dipped his tongue into Tristan's mouth, wanting to taste him, even though he was dangerously aware that Tristan was trying to stop this from escalating much further.

Desire must have temporarily won Tristan over though, because it didn't take long for him to push back at Miles's tongue with his own, both battling for dominance as they became more flushed. Miles had his hands everywhere, running down Tristan's neck, pulling him closer by the shoulders, lightly scratching at his back. He wanted him to feel as good as he did, because he had never felt more alive.

'Come upstairs.' Miles mumbled between the light kisses he was trailing down Tristan's jaw to his neck. It was half a statement, half a question, because he already knew the answer. He knew Tristan didn't want to rush things, but he was done with slow already, he was desperate to be wanted.

'Lead the way.' Tristan said huskily, sensing that Miles needed this. Needed his attention, and as long as he kept up what he was doing to him, he damn well had it. Miles pulled back at that answer, it was not the one he had been expecting. Tristan's pupils were blown, and his eyes were soft round the edges. Smiling at him in agreement, Miles thought he looked so genuine. He loved that Tristan never failed to surprise him. Before he could change his mind he moved off his lap and tugged him by the hand through his maze of a home, taking an alternative route that avoided the rooms his dad usually inhibited.

There were three flights of stairs between his room and the ground floor, and Miles didn't let go of Tristan's wrist until he'd raced them both up all of them, all sixty two. Turning back to Tristan breathless he pulled him close and reattached their mouths, finding the door handle blindly behind him and stumbled backwards until they were both in his room. Tristan kicked the door shut as his hands were busy framing Miles's face and the young Hollingsworth used this advantage to press Tristan against the frame, pressing their bodies close together.

Finally in private, Miles quickly unzipped Tristan's hoodie, which he fondly remembered was his after he had it on the floor, and pulled his top off, leaving him with the pale white skin he had been so eager to get at for weeks. In return Tristan began working at the buttons on his shirt and before he had even managed to get half of them undone, Miles released Tristan from his grip and tore it off himself, probably tearing a few of the buttons with it, not that he gave the slightest fuck.

Miles felt did feel like a spoilt kid now. He had the guy he wanted more than anything else, half naked, up against a door in his bedroom. As distractions go, Tristan was a good one. He didn't care that he had no clue what he was doing, he just wanted Tris in every intimate way you could imagine. He still didn't know when the guy he had been best friends with for so long started to have such an effect on him, but he was starting to feel like he needed Tristan like he needed to breathe. He felt less lonely in the world now he had Tris with him. Really with him.

That was why as Tristan began to push against him, moving him backwards as he continued to kiss him senseless, when they fell back on to Miles's double bed he had never felt more like he belonged in his life.


	6. Shenanigans

Chapter 6:

Miles wasn't sure whether or not he was dreaming. Tristan was on top of him, kissing everywhere he could reach, and even though he was trying to control it, his skin felt like it was burning wherever Tristan touched. His breaths were coming quick and fast and his heart was racing. When Tristan bit down on his collarbone he realised how loud he was moaning. He was usually relatively quiet during sex, focused on what he was doing, but he didn't feel focused right now, his brain was scattered and all he could feel was Tristan. He felt completely powerless as he let Tristan ravish him, he'd never felt so turned on in his life.

'Shhh. They'll hear us.' Tristan scolded gently, licking at his open mouth as if he was trying to emphasise the fact he had to keep it shut.

'I can't help it.' Miles managed as he fluttered his eyes open. He didn't remember when they had fallen closed, but he assumed he'd been trying to let the rest of his senses do the work. Now he was beginning to regret that because the sight of Tristan above him, with his eyes blown black and his lips swollen red he looked so fucking good.

Letting want take over him, Miles leaned up and pulled Tristan back down to him, keeping their bodies pressed together. Tristan's skin was soft everywhere, gently, he scratched his nails down his back and Miles felt the shiver that ran through him as he slipped his tongue into his mouth. _He feels so different to a girl_, Miles thought as he ran his fingertips along all of the toned flesh he could find on Tristan's frame. There was something reassuring about knowing Tristan wasn't delicate or fragile, he liked that, it made him feel secure as Tristan pulled him up, bringing his legs forward to wrap them round him, linking his ankles behind his back. One of Miles's arms immediately looped around Tristan's back, holding him in place.

Miles's mouth fell open when Tris decided to ramp up the torture even more by grinding his hips down on top of him. He was so hard and he knew Tristan could feel it, not that he seemed to mind by the moans that he was trying to muffle by burying his face into Miles's neck. Miles placed an arm behind him and used the bed to push his hips up into Tristan in return, showing him that he liked what was going down.

Miles could feel how close he was already, every time Tris pushed his hips down on his dick, he pushed upwards in return trying to get them as close as he could. What the fuck was this boy doing to him? He didn't want this to be over yet, he didn't want this feeling to stop. Miles concluded that skinny jeans were sent from hell as his hard on strained against the material confining him.

Deciding to switch things up a bit, Miles flipped them both over, making the most of all of the space on his huge bed. He smiled wryly to himself as he heard Tristan gasp in surprise at the swift move, carefully, he gripped both of Tristan's wrists together and held them above his head, finding a shred of control as used his thighs to stop him bucking his hips up into him.

'Don't fight me.' He whispered into Tristan's ear as he writhed to get his limbs free. Immediately he felt his body go lax as he fought to control his breathing. In reward Miles kissed and licked down him, from his neck all the way down to the waistband of his jeans as he savoured the taste of his skin. He eventually released Tris's hands as he moved his mouth to his hipbone and bit down. The way his back arched up, pushing his hip harder against his teeth made Miles moan into his skin. One of Tristan's hands got tangled in Miles's dark hair as he started to suck on the tender flesh.

Miles wanted this, he was completely and utterly consumed by how amazing this felt. That was why as he continue to nip at Tristan's skin, loving the reactions he was rewarded with, his free hand began working on Tristan's belt, but before he had a chance to get it loose, Tris stopped him.

'Are you sure this is a good idea?' Tristan asked, hesitant. He didn't want Miles to do anything that he would regret afterwards. Heated make out sessions were one thing. This was a lot more serious.

'Please Tris, I want you.' Miles breathed huskily, and it was the truth. He might not be able to label whatever the fuck they were, but that didn't stop him feeling like he was thrumming with intensity as he kissed at Tris's bruised hip. This was raw and it was real and he wanted to show Tristan that he was confident about this, that he might not know why he felt like he did, but he felt it all the same.

Tristan undid his own belt then, lifting his hips to release it from the loops in his jeans and chucking it to the side. Miles crawled back up his body, placing a firm kiss on Tris's mouth, convincing him that they were in this together as he unbuttoned his jeans, slipping a hand inside to palm his blonde lover. He couldn't deny that this felt a little alien to him, the only dick Miles had any experience with was his own, but by the way Tris turned his head into his neck and pushed up, he wasn't doing anything that didn't feel good.

Deciding that this wasn't very fair, Tristan unzipped Miles own jeans and did the same. Miles couldn't help how his body tensed, not used to any of this, but not wanting it to stop either.

'Hey, look at me.' Tristan urged, nudging at his chin with his nose. When Miles did, there was so much reassurance in Tristan's eyes, he instantly felt calmer. Closing his own eyes, he kept his hand still for a second as he focused in on how good Tristan fingers felt on him. Tris kissed at his neck as he slipped his hand under his boxers and ever so slowly, began to jerk him. His breathing hitched as Tristan thumbed at the head, using the precome that was leaking out of him as lube. Mimicking what Tristan was doing, using his wider knowledge to help him learn what would feel good for him, Miles tried to balance focus on jerking Tristan off at the same pace and fighting the urge to push harder into his hand.

Miles didn't know what he had been expecting but Tristan was bigger than he'd thought he would be, and even though he was as hard as rock, the delicate skin was smooth. The thought of what it would be like to suck Tristan off flicked through his mind before it was cruelly snatched away as Tris squeezed harder at him, picking up the pace.

Miles tried to match what Tristan was doing, but he knew his strokes were messy because he could barely fucking see straight as Tris brought him to the edge, working him hard.

'Tris I'm gonna come.' Miles rasped out, feeling like there was no oxygen in his lungs. He was wrapped up in this, the cliff edge he was hanging off. The feeling of Tristan on him, how he felt in his hand, the wet kisses he was placing along his jaw, he couldn't hold out much longer.

'Me too.' Tristan moaned into him.

That was enough, the desperate edge to Tristan's voice sent him spiralling over the edge as he came so hard he forgot where he was. He had enough concentration left to feel Tristan's body go stiff as he finished too, hot come spilling over his hand and then he let himself shatter. Miles felt his body go pliant as he breathed through the most intense orgasm of his life, he felt Tristan kiss at him, his slack mouth not managing to kiss back. He felt completely adored, so at peace. Tristan nuzzled at him, wrapped all of his long limbs around him, protecting, soothing him like he always did. This time though, for a much better reason than usual.


	7. Advantage

Chapter 7:

Tristan and Miles had got used to how they worked now. It had been a couple of weeks since they had first spent the night together. The first morning after, Miles had woken up adjusting to how it felt being the little spoon as Tris breathed steadily on the back of his neck. He'd felt a sudden urge to run, but he'd fought it, and now it didn't surprise him anymore. At school, they kept up their best friend charade, not that it was really a charade, they just were more than that too now. They stole touches when they could, met up during their spares for a secret makeout session, and then would go back to their classes playing it cool. No one knew, most people didn't even have a clue. Miles was pretty sure that Winston had clocked on, but he hadn't said anything. He had noticed his eyes watching them every now and then though, trying to work out whether his suspicions were right. Miles couldn't lie, he was quite happy that Chewy hadn't bombarded him with accusations and had just let him be. Even if it was because he didn't want to get involved in any trouble that might be to come, right now, it gave him some peace of mind to know he was allowed to make his own choices on this one.

They still hadn't gone any further than jerking each other off, but Miles had got used to Tristan waking up in his bed. After school they would both head their separate ways, and then a bit later on Tristan would come over to his, they would hang out for most of the evening and just enjoy each other's company, and then all of a sudden the atmosphere would change, and it wouldn't take long for them to take things upstairs. The secrecy worked for both of them, it stopped the inevitable questions, they didn't have to answer to anyone except each other, and that was how they liked it.

Miles had now taken to hating waking up in the mornings, Tris would stay over nearly every other night. He hated having to untangle himself from Tristan's long arms, which always seemed to find a way of winding themselves around him during the night, keeping him close. He was so warm. The only time Miles ever thought Tristan looked delicate was when he was asleep. He wasn't able to put on that fake confidence he always wore like armour, with his blonde hair messy, usually decked out in Miles's hoody and joggers, he looked vulnerable. Miles liked the fact that Tris trusted him enough to let him see him like that. It felt intimate. He was a lucky fucker that no one ever came in to his room, he wasn't ready yet to deal with his families reactions to the boy sleeping in his bed. Especially if he was then going to explain that they were practically a couple.

'Yo, Hollingsworth, I hear there's a party going on at yours tonight?' came a familiar voice, jogging him back to the cold reality of the Maths lesson he was stuck in. Once his brain realised whose voice it was, he was already annoyed.

'Yeah, but last time I checked you weren't invited Novak.' Miles shot back, turning his head to find Zig leaning across his desk trying to get his attention.

'Maya invited me.' Zig smirked, full of glee thinking he had got one up on him. If only he knew the truth. Miles and Maya were cool, sort of. They weren't exactly talking, but the vibe between them wasn't too frosty which Miles was happy about. He couldn't pretend he was overjoyed about the idea of Zig in his house, but he didn't need to give Maya another reason to argue with him.

'Whatever.' Miles grumbled, more pissed off at the fact that for some reason Tristan hadn't turned up for school today, he'd also not replied to any of Miles's fourteen texts that he had sent so far. Miles made a mental note to tell him that you can only play hard to get when you're not actually seeing the person you're interested in.

'See you there.' Zig grinned before leaning back in his chair and going back to whatever he was doing on his phone under the desk.

The party was in preparation for Miles's birthday which was in a few days. He was pretty sure that the whole school was planning on turning up, not for his company or to wish him a good birthday, he knew that. A huge house with a pool, about twenty rooms to sneak off to, an unlimited supply of booze and a surround sound music system was pretty much the place to be if you went to Degrassi. He had even cleared it with his dad, who hadn't taken much convincing, an excuse for him to fuck off for the weekend and get away from dealing with his eldest son had been gladly welcomed, birthday or no birthday. As a result Miles had made sure that pretty much everyone knew that his house was open for business tonight.

Suddenly though he was distracted by a knock at the classroom door.

'Hey Miss, I know I'm late, but can I still come in?'

It was Tris. Miles felt his heart jump, and when he actually laid eyes on him, he wasn't sure whether he was seeing right. Tristan had dyed his hair. It was dark. It made him look so white and his blue eyes didn't look blue anymore they looked like ice. It was sexy and as usual Tris made it work. It took Miles a few seconds to realise that his jaw was practically on the floor, and he quickly tried to put his eyes back his head as their teacher beckoned for him to come in.

'No problem Mr. Milligan, the principal informed me that you would be late.' She smiled kindly, and Tris took his seat in the classroom, ignoring the stares that were coming from all corners of the room. Miles wasn't sure whether he liked that, he found his fist clenching in annoyance that everyone was just enjoying the fucking view, the view that was pretty much meant for his eyes only. But he managed to shake it off as dwelling on what Tris had been doing with their principal seemed a bit more important.

On the sly, Miles pulled out his phone and sent Tristan his fifteenth text of the day.

'Hey, why you been with Simpson?' he messaged. He watched as Tristan pulled out his phone, and seemed to debate over what to send back, as he tapped away at a response.

'Tell you later.'

Miles chucked his phone loosely back in his bag, finding himself clock watching for the last ten minutes of the lesson, and when he wasn't clock watching he was admiring Tristan's new edgy hair. Miles got the feeling there were bigger things to be thinking about at the moment though, there was something about how Tris appeared despite his new look. He had this expression on his face that made Miles feel worried, he was just staring out into space, not scrawling away in his notebook like he usually did in class. He had his arms wrapped around himself, like he was trying to hold something in.

When the bell went, Miles headed straight for Tristan's desk.

'Hey, you alright?' Miles asked.

When Tris glanced up at him, Miles knew that nothing was alright. Tristan had this look on his face that said if there was a roof available, he'd jump off it without a second thought.

'Can we go somewhere?' Tristan murmured and Miles knew what that meant. They needed to be alone, even though they still had another lesson before lunch.

'Greenhouse?' Miles offered, knowing that lately that had become their spot, for a whole variety of reasons.

Tristan just nodded, chucking his unopened bag over his shoulder, and following him out of the classroom, ready to bunk.

As people milled off to their different classrooms, Miles led the way outside, after making sure there was no one around he turned to Tristan who was drifting expressionless behind him. All of a sudden the dark hair didn't look hot anymore, it looked like it was draining the blood from Tris's face.

'What's wrong?' Miles pushed, concerned.

'It's Grant.' Was all Tristan managed before he leant against the wall and sank down, legs seemingly unable to hold him up anymore.

Anger flowed through Miles's body, he should have worked that one out the second their maths teacher had mentioned Tristan being with Principal Simpson. That fucker Yates had screwed Tristan's head up enough. Miles had never asked for the details about them two, he really didn't want to know. All he needed to know was that his lover had been mentally and physically abused by someone who they were supposed to be able to trust.

'What about him?' Miles replied tentatively.

'He's told them the truth about us, he's told them everything.' Tristan managed, not meeting Miles's eyes.

'They want me to go to court and testify.'

'You can do that.' Miles said, trying his best to be supportive.

'But I don't want to. I thought it was real, it felt real.'

'It wasn't real Tris, he was our teacher.' Miles answered, frustrated that after everything Tris still believed that the twisted affair they had had was how love was meant to feel.

'He took advantage of you.'

'No he didn't.' Tristan fought back, meeting his eyes fiercely.

'I wanted it.'

Miles couldn't help how that knocked him for six. He knew that Tristan had never really had a proper fully functional relationship, and he didn't even have one now. Even though Miles was trying his best. All that time that Tris had been seduced by their fucking teacher, he'd been stressing over his trivial drama with Maya and he hadn't even considered what might be going on with his best friend.

'Yeah? Well what do you want now?' Miles retaliated, the guilt making him react the only way he knew how, heatedly.

'Well I don't want to argue with you.' Tristan said, his tone full of attitude as he pushed himself back on to his feet, finding some fire from somewhere. Not prepared to have to deal with Miles making yet another situation about him.

'M'not arguing, just trying to make you see sense.' He responded sulkily.

'Miles please don't pretend like you understand okay? You don't know what it's like, you get to have anyone who takes your fancy. It doesn't work like that for me, no one had ever made me feel, special, like that.'

Miles didn't understand, wasn't what they had better than some sordid tryst with someone twice your age? Why couldn't Tristan see Yates for exactly what he was? What was he even trying to say, was he saying that he didn't make him feel special? Because considering that a few weeks ago he'd never even properly kissed a guy, it wasn't like he hadn't tried. Wasn't what they had supposed to be real?

'Fine. I'll see you at the party.' Miles retorted and even though he knew he was being selfish, he couldn't help it. Then before knew where he was going, he found himself walking away from Tristan, the only fucking direction he didn't want to go.


	8. Intoxicated

Chapter 8:

The Hollingsworth mansion was rife with chaos and the party was in full swing. Everyone had turned up, and it seemed like they had all brought every single person they had ever met with them. The only person who hadn't shown up, was Tristan, the only person who Miles wanted to see. Miles was dressed to impress, in a dark blue shirt and tight black skinny jeans he knew he looked good. He'd even made an effort with his hair, spiking up the back and leaving the rest fluffy, framing his face. Yet it was all going to waste.

Miles was brooding, smoking a cigarette whilst sprawled out across a deck chair by the pool. He'd already had quite a lot to drink, and he could feel it hitting him every time he tried to focus his eyes on what seemed like hundreds of people dancing around him to the most popular hits of the week. Taking another large gulp from his double JD and coke he contemplated for the billionth time that evening whether or not to message Tris. They hadn't spoken since their argument in the greenhouse, and Miles felt like he'd spent the majority of the night so far battling between his head and his heart. All evening his head had been winning and he hadn't succumbed to the loneliness that he felt even though he was surrounded by so many people, but after ingesting a fuck load of alcohol units, his mind wasn't winning anymore. Hastily he typed a quick text, not bothering to spell check because who the fuck cared.

'You comin tonight?' he sent.

He stared at his phone for about five minutes, even though it felt like five years as he waited in suspense for a reply. When he didn't receive one, he downed the rest of his drink and slid his phone into his back pocket. Getting up unsteadily from his seat, he made an attempt to head back in to the house, stumbling into everyone who was dancing in his way. Suddenly he felt someone wrap their arms around him from behind. On instinct he thought it was Tristan, but he even though he was drunk, it didn't take him long to realise he was wrong. The arms weren't long enough, and they were too tanned, too smooth, with fingernails painted black. Whipping around quickly he nearly lost his balance as he came face to face with Zoe, who had her eyes lined with black makeup and dressed only in a red bikini. Miles couldn't help but feel slightly concerned that she hadn't seemed to have learnt from the last time.

'Little boy blue, why so blue at such a good party?' she slurred, seemingly drunk off her face.

'I'm fine Zoe, why don't you go sober up.' He managed as Zoe threw her arms back around his neck, trying to pull him closer. He grabbed at her wrists, stopping her from the wriggling she was doing against him, because he was drunk and his inhibitions were nowhere to be seen. He didn't want her, but he needed someone right now, and he was grappling with the last shred of sense in his brain that was thinking of Tristan.

'Fine then.' Zoe huffed even though she could barely keep her head up. She hit her arm against his chest, slightly offended by his rejection before nearly tripping over her own feet as she went to hassle some other person that she deemed as easy prey. When Miles tried to carry on walking in the direction he was headed for he found himself confronted again, the only benefit being that Winston couldn't tempt him over to the dark side. Chewy stood with his arms crossed looking at him in disapproval was enough to annoy him immediately.

'What d'you want?' Miles incoherently strung together.

'What are you doing man? This is meant to be your birthday.' Winston asked.

'Some birthday.' Miles hissed. The only fucking damn present he wanted seemed to have better things to do than be at the party of the year. He knew he must have pissed Tristan off big time, he wasn't the kind of guy that usually excluded himself from the drama. All of this because Miles had assumed that he meant more to him than some creep of an English teacher.

'I know why you're angry. Tristan has been in the same bad mood all day at school.' Winston said all too knowingly.

'You don't know anything Chewy.' Miles retorted, eyes trying to focus on where he could get his hands on the closest Jagerbomb, ready to block everything out.

'You might not wanna talk to me about it bro, but you might wanna talk to him.' Winston finished, gesturing with his head for Miles to turn around.

When he did, instead of feeling hampered by booze, Miles felt like he was buzzing as his body flushed with heat. Tristan was standing by the French doors that led to the pool, dressed head to toe in black. His looked so slender in the jeans and fitted v-neck shirt he was wearing. Topped off by his new dark hair and long silver necklace that drew Miles's attention to his prominent collar bones, he was pretty sure he might melt there and then.

He didn't even have to think about heading over to him because before he knew it, he found himself in front of Tris, the alcohol giving him a confidence boost that was working to his advantage. Tristan just watched him, waiting for Miles to break the ice.

'Hey.' Miles said, thinking that was an easy place to start.

'Hello.' Tristan replied, voice soft and husky.

'I'm sorry.' Miles rushed out, before he could locate his stubbornness. Tristan wasn't like everyone else, he wasn't ready to lose this boy yet. He would let Tris have this one, if it meant that they could rewind back to how they'd been less than twenty four hours ago.

For the first time that night, Tristan dropped his eyes to the floor.

'Me too.'

'Can we just forget earlier? I don't want you angry with me.' Miles pushed.

'I don't expect you to get it Miles, you just need to learn that everything isn't always about you.' Tris said meeting his eyes with a determination that Miles liked. Maybe he needed someone to put him in his place sometimes, he'd become so used to getting his own way, maybe he needed to learnt how to put someone else first.

'I know. You can talk to me, you know that.' Miles answered tentatively, trying to find a way to tell Tris that he would support him, he'd be there, he'd be anything he fucking want him to be, as long as he didn't give up on him.

'Okay, well we'll see. I don't wanna talk right now though. Come on birthday boy you call this a party? Let's do this.' Tristan said, a huge grin breaking across his face as he took hold of Miles's hand and weaved him through the almighty crowd of people that were jumping around to a new Calvin Harris track. Pulling him over to the bar by the pool, Tris poured them five vodka shots each.

'Down them.' Tris commanded, and who was Miles to fucking argue.

After choking back the first five and then another three rounds Miles was surprised he was still standing, but he wasn't ready to let Tristan win this battle. His mind was screwed, all he could see was Tristan, the music blaring around him thumping through his body as he tried to retain some self-control.

The look on Tristan's face made him happy, he had his head back, dancing against the bar, his mouth open in a smile across his face as his hazy eyes gazed up at the night sky. Deciding that he'd broken enough rules already that one more wouldn't hurt, Miles moved closer to Tristan and grinded his hips into him, enjoying how his eyes fell shut at the contact. Miles never danced, he'd taken that hip hop class for a while, but he never danced with other people. Luckily everyone around them was too drunk to notice the two teenagers practically having dry sex against the bar, making an attempt to stay in time to the music.

'You look hot tonight.' Miles muttered in Tristan's ear as seductively as his clouded brain could manage.

'I like the hair.' He added as an afterthought as he felt Tris smile against him, pushing his hips harder into him.

'Tris –' Miles half moaned, his brain turning to soup.

'I want you.' Tris answered.

He didn't need to say anymore before Miles nearly wrenched his arm out of his socket, dragging him into the house. Finding the staircase Miles had to use every inch of his focus to starting climbing as he fought against the urge to fuck Tristan against the wall in front of everyone. Alcohol was one of the best things to make you forget how complicated things were, because right now he had everything he needed. He was headed for his bedroom, with the most attractive guy at the fucking party, and ready to make the most of having no nerves whatsoever on his birthday.


	9. Special

Tristan overtook Miles on the last few stairs, taking his hand and pulling him into his own bedroom as if it was his. As Tristan dragged him towards the bed, Miles lost his footing as he tried to focus on seeing straight. He felt directly on top of his newly brunette lover, pinning him to the mattress. He couldn't it as he burst into fits of laughter at the surprised look plastered across Tristan's face and the sudden switch in position. Giggles racked his already heavy head, a huge smile stretching across his face which showed his slightly wonky teeth as he pressed the rest of his body weight against Tris, keeping him there as he began to laugh back. Both of them were in such hysterics they were practically crying, laughing so hard they were nearly silent. The huge amounts of alcohol they had consumed tonight making everything seem hilarious.

Miles felt so at ease and even though he knew the amount of vodka in his system was helping with that, Tristan always made him feel safe, he felt like he knew who he was. It was only when Miles pushed himself up on both arms and looked directly down into Tristan's deep blue eyes that the atmosphere between them changed again. Tristan's eyes were framed by long lashes and they were sparkling with glee. There was something about the way he was looking at him that made Miles feel adored. He wasn't sure exactly how Tris felt about him because they hadn't really sat down and discussed it in detail, but that look. That look was enough for now. Wanting to show him that he felt the same way Miles leant down and kissed his mouth open, licking along his bottom lip and savouring the taste of the alcohol that was coursing through his boiling blood. Miles liked it, there was something sexy about it. By the way Tris flicked his tongue against his, Miles assumed that he must like it too.

Miles was glad that kissing Tristan came so naturally to him because if he had to focus on anything else right now he was concerned he might pass out. That made him ever so more grateful when Tristan took the control away from him, flipping over so that he was on top, leaving lingering kisses down his neck as he pinned Miles's wrists above his head. Usually Miles would have fought him, but for the first time in his life he didn't want the control. He wanted Tris to own him, because he trusted him enough to give him the power to break him, because he trusted that he never would. His head was too intoxicated right now to think of anything else except the boy he'd fallen hard for so suddenly. The only downside to having zero self-control was that due to all of his senses feeling heightened because of the amount of units he'd drunk, everything that Tris was doing to him felt so good that he couldn't stop how his body was responding to him.

Miles's hips pushed up of their own accord, his back was arching, trying desperately to find some friction or contact that he couldn't with his hands, which were still being held above him. He couldn't stop moaning Tristan's name, especially when he felt his hard on grow against his already tight jeans. Miles didn't know if when Tris came up to kiss him hard, it was because he needed to or because he wanted him to be quiet, but either way he wasn't complaining. Tristan had this way of kissing him when he was turned on that made Miles's veins want to burst. It felt like he was trying to consume him and he couldn't stop his body going pliant to Tristan's touch, ready to do anything he wanted.

As Tris let his wrists slide from his strong grip, Miles wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer, running his fingers down the muscles in his toned back, before resting them delicately on his sharp hipbones.

'You said you wanted me.' Miles muttered between kisses.

Tris drew back slightly at that to look at him questioningly, and Miles mentally noted how gorgeous he looked with flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

'I do.' He replied without any hesitation.

'But I don't wanna do anything just because we're drunk. I want it to be real.' He continued, those deep seated insecurities of his still present even after drinking endless amounts of vodka. Miles noticed how this 'real' thing kept coming up with Tristan and he realised now with his blurry mind that Tristan had never had anything real. He'd never had anything official, a real boyfriend. He'd thought that Yates was going to be that for him. All of a sudden even though he'd never been able to understand it before, it all clicked in to place. Yates had been the first person to make Tristan feel important, to make him feel like he was special. That attention that Miles got from countless women, Tris had never really had it before.

'We're special.' Miles answered, looking Tris right in the eye, wanting as usual to make Tristan understand how much he needed him.

'We are special and this is real for me.' Miles carried on, not being able to censor his mouth, he'd never felt more convinced that this was what he wanted.

At that, Miles felt Tris melt into him and he was pretty sure he could feel his heart smashing through his chest as he moulded their mouths back together. Finding the hem of Tristan's shirt Miles let his hands crawl upwards, touching bare skin as he relished the shivers that ran through him when Tris nibbled at his ear.

'What the hell?!'

Both boys broke apart and looked up in shock, searching for the mystery voice that had interrupted their privacy. It didn't take long, Frankie was stood at the doorway, her eyes wide and mouth open staring at the scene before her. In the heat of the moment they must have both forgotten to lock the door. Quickly Tris pushed himself up off of Miles and moved to the edge of the bed, dangling his legs over the side.

'Frankie, this isn't what it looks like.' Tristan quickly rushed out, wanting to protect Miles from the onslaught of questions and probable abuse his family would hurl at him if they found out he had been sharing his bed with a guy.

Frankie just raised an eyebrow in disbelief, wanting a better explanation than that as to why her older brother had seemed to be having the time of his life underneath his gay best friend.

'No Tris, don't.' Miles said, and he didn't really understand what he meant until he spoke again, turning to his sister this time.

'Don't ask me what I am 'cause I don't know. But yeah, we're together and he's mine.'

Miles felt Tristan's eyes on him but he kept his focus and stayed determined, daring his sister to question the only thing he had left that made him feel like he meant something. When he felt Tristan's hand slide into his he felt even stronger. He felt the support he'd craved since he was a kid and as he held on to him tight, he didn't want to ever let go.

Frankie looked between them, lost for words, but what could she say? Tristan was a good guy and she loved her brother even though he was an idiot sometimes. Despite the fact she had never seen this coming in a million years, if Tristan was making her brother happy then she was happy. She knew her brother had seemed a little lost lately, so if Tristan was helping him to find himself again, then she wasn't going to be a problem for them. She also wondered whether Winston knew about this, and even he did and hadn't told her, he was in for it.

'Okay well, I won't say anything. Promise.' She answered with a small smile. Looking at her brother who was dark and slightly edgy, holding Tristan's hand, Tristan, the guy who was so flamboyant and feminine, she couldn't help but notice that despite their differences, they looked sort of right beside one another.

'Thanks sis.' Miles replied with a nod and Frankie couldn't miss the fierceness in his eyes at how decided he seemed about Tristan. She decided that all the questions she had could wait for now, she too had snuck a few drinks from the bar tonight and she could tell now wasn't the time for a deep conversation.

'Anyway, I only came looking for you because we've got a surprise for you downstairs, come on!' she said excitedly.

With that she hurried back down the staircase. It took all of Miles's effort to let Tristan's hand go as they both followed her out of the room. But even he wasn't ready for the world to know yet and he didn't think Tristan was either. They had all the time in the world to work out how to do this properly.

As they traipsed downstairs, Miles noticed suddenly that the house was eerily quiet now. It was only when they followed Frankie out to the pool that they realised why. The second Miles stepped outside the French doors an almighty chorus of party guests broke into a chant of 'Happy Birthday.'

Miles stared around him at the faces of all the people he knew and the people he didn't, all gathered together for one split second of time to celebrate his birthday with him. There were people in the pool, crowded on the patio, squashed into the balconies, all to recognise that tonight they were there for him. When Chewy then approached him with a huge cake covered in candles Miles felt overwhelmed, banking a reminder to tell Chewy he was sorry for being such a dick earlier.

When he felt Tris whisper in his ear, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he had never felt more complete.

'Make a wish birthday boy.'

Miles wasn't a one for wishes, he believed that you got what you deserved in life, with the odd smidge of luck or coincidence every now and then. For the first time since he was about five though, he closed his eyes and blew out the candles, wishing hard.

_Please don't let him leave me. _


	10. Hungover

When Miles woke up the next day his head was banging. Ever so slowly he blinked his eyes open, immediately having to squint them closed as the morning light burned his retinas to a cinder. Accepting the possible risk of going blind he tried again, this time his pupils more adjusted to the brightness that met them. He was in his room, he worked out that much as he tried to figure out how he'd got there.

Tristan was sprawled across him, head on his chest and an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, snuggling in to his warmth. Miles couldn't help but smile as he watched how Tris unknowingly nuzzled into him, clearly missing him during the night. He looked so rested as he breathed gently in and out, at peace in his own dream world. Miles had missed seeing Tristan so content, ever since he'd had that thing with Yates he had seemed more on edge than usual. It was as if he was constantly expecting accusations or questioning about something he didn't have the answers to, it was nice to see him looking so calm. Miles noticed then that Tris was wearing one of his baggy t-shirts, and that triggered his brain as he began to remember the end of his pretty fucking epic birthday party.

He and Tris had drunk themselves into oblivion and they had danced the night away, or more to the point, Tristan had, occasionally dragging him along for the ride. Miles hadn't complained, once Tris was completely off his face it stopped him telling him off about the odd drag of weed he'd been stealing off one of the older guys at the party. It must have been about 3am when everyone had jumped in the pool and played a huge game of chicken. Soon after that they were all hit by the overwhelming need to crash, badly needing to sleep off the toxins that were poisoning their livers. When Miles and Tris had headed upstairs there were people passed out in the pool house, in the deck chairs, on every couch. They had even fallen over people that had given up on the staircase. They'd managed to haul themselves up to Miles's room, where Miles had chucked one of his favourite sleep shirts to Tris who was still dripping from the pool and he'd seemingly hit the deck soon after that because Miles couldn't remember anything else. He was lucky that his parents had decided to stay away at their spa retreat for the whole weekend because there was no way he was ready to face the mess that awaited him downstairs yet.

'Morning.' Tris said and Miles nearly jumped out of skin, surprised to hear the silence broken as his eyes met Tristan's big blue ones that were now looking up at him. Miles liked the giggle that Tristan produced at his reaction, he seemed so innocent in the mornings, it still felt like he hadn't had time to put his mask on.

'Morning Sleepyhead. Although I'm not sure it actually is morning.' He added as an afterthought, flicking his index finger against Tristan's nose thinking that the way he screwed his face up on instinct was adorable.

'I don't even wanna know what time it is, do you know who's still here?' Tris asked.

'How am I supposed to check?' Miles answered, proving his point by trying to lift his body against Tristan's weight, earning another giggle as Tris pushed back against him, keeping him where he was.

'How you feeling?' Tristan asked, changing the subject.

'Like hell. You?' he answered, and that was true, his brain felt like it had melted into vodka.

'Not too bad actually, considering. Maybe I can help?' Tris answered, his smile turning flirty.

'Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?' Miles shot back, his voice full of the same temptation that was softening all of Tris's features.

He didn't answer him, he just kissed him. His mouth sweet and lax as he moulded his lips against him. Miles couldn't deny that it sort of worked as all of the blood in him left his pulsing brain and headed south. All too soon it was over though as Tris broke away from him.

'Do you feel older?' Tris questioned, resting his head on his shoulder with a smile that knew he was playing hard to get.

'I feel deprived.' Miles muttered, frustrated. Tristan managed to be sweet and sexy all at the same time and sometimes it left him wanting so much more, not that he'd have a bloody clue what he was doing if he was actually offered it.

'I'm in your bed aren't I?' Tris replied matter of factly. That was true, Miles couldn't deny, he'd rather wake up in the mornings with Tris wrapped around him, kissing away his hangover than not have him there at all.

'Fair point well made.' Miles said with an over-exaggerated sigh that didn't have any real disappointment behind it as he wrapped his arm tighter around Tris, keeping him close.

'Should we go and see what it's like downstairs?' Tris asked.

'No.' Miles groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face in the pillow to try and avoid the inevitable.

'Miles Hollingsworth the Third, Lightweight?' Tristan grinned. That sarcastic tone of voice would make Miles do pretty much anything just to prove him wrong, and despite his broken body despairing, he dragged himself out of bed.

As both of them pulled their jeans on from the night before Tris went to switch shirts.

'Don't. Keep that top, looks good on you.' Miles protested.

Tristan looked down and pulled at the top as if he was examining whether or not he liked the design, Tris being as fashion conscious as always. Deciding he liked the fact it was black but more importantly liked the fact it belonged to Miles he shrugged his shoulders in agreement and tucked his hands in his pockets.

'Do we really have to? Can't we just stay here for a bit?' Miles tried in his most persuasive voice as he pulled Tris by his hips towards him. Tristan's arms automatically looped around his neck as he laughed.

'The quicker we get everyone out and the house clean, the quicker we can go back to bed.' Tris reminded him. That seemed to work, considering Miles was soon pulling him downstairs before he had a chance to retract that offer.

Downstairs was nowhere near as bad as it could have been. There were a few beer stains that needed to be cleaned out of the carpet, a couple of broken ornaments that needed vacuuming up, and about four thousand plastic cups and empty bottles to chuck out. Luckily though, the only sleeping people that they discovered as they walked through the house were the classics. Zoe, Maya, Zig, Chewy, Grace, Frankie and Hunter were still scattered around different rooms so that Miles could envy their unconscious state as he and Tris began clearing up the house.

After they had filled two huge bags full of trash and still not made an impressive dent in the workload Tris soon decided that it was time to call in the troops. Miles nearly died laughing as Tristan took the most almighty delight in finding every sleeping beauty around the house and pouncing on them. The shock on all of their faces was absolutely priceless and Miles wished he'd been filming so that Zig's girly scream could have been plastered all over the internet forevermore. It hadn't been a bad idea though, after everyone had got over their initial hangovers and pulled ranks to help, they got the house clean quite quickly.

'I am so out of here.' Zig said grumpily as they tossed the last bag of garbage into the trash can.

'Laters Novak.' Tris replied as Zig made his hasty retreat before he was persuaded by Maya to do any more work.

'Nice party rich boy.' Zig called over his shoulder as he slammed the door behind him, the shake of the glass panes making Miles wince.

Miles didn't know whether Zig and Maya were together, but he had to admit that if they were he liked the effect that she had on him. He still hated him and hated the way he'd screwed his whole life up, but at the same time he was kind of glad about that now. If Zig hadn't messed everything up between him and Maya then he'd never have realised how badly he wanted Tris.

Besides Maya didn't take long to follow him, making it clear where her loyalties lay as she left soon after giving Miles an awkward hug goodbye. Miles had felt Tristan's eyes watching him possessively, making sure that there was nothing he had to be worried about and that made Miles pulled away from her quicker than she had seemed to want. Grace had left with her, muttering something about how insensitive boys could be.

Zoe got a taxi home a while later, wishing Little Boy Blue a good birthday weekend and thanking him for a great night. Miles had to respect that she had a lot of guts to even come in the first place after what had happened to her the last time that she had been at his for a party, let alone to party the night away as if it had never even happened. Zoe was strong though, he knew that even though she would never forget that night, she wouldn't let it ruin her life and he was happy that she'd been able to get past that and carry on.

That just left Chewy and Frankie and Miles knew that he wasn't going to get rid of them in a hurry. He wasn't really sure how he felt about them. On one hand he hated it because his best friend was hooking up with his younger sister and that wasn't cool, but at the same time he knew that Winston was a good guy. If his sister was going to date any of the guys that they knew then he trusted Chewy the most not to hurt her. When they both huddled together in front of the good TV to watch a movie Miles decided that was his cue to leave, he didn't want to give his sister a reason to expose the recent development in his love life to Chewy and he had bigger fish to fry with Tris anyway.

'Well that's about as good as it's gonna get.' Miles said to no one in particular.

'Shall we leave these two lovebirds to it?' Tris replied, smiling at Frankie to communicate their understanding which she acknowledged with a nod of her head.

'In a bit guys.' Chewy answered.

Before the two boys even had a chance to ponder what they were going to do once they got back to Miles's room, the doorbell rang.

'Who's that?' Miles complained, heading to the front door as he muttered curses under his breath and having his Tristan centred plans interrupted yet again. As he pulled the door open though, he briskly shut up.

Two FBI officers loomed over him, not because they were even taller than him, but their uniforms and their stern expressions were immediately intimidating.

'Are you Miles Hollingsworth?' one of them asked.

'Yeah.'

'We're looking for Tristan Milligan, his family advised he would be here.'

Miles blood went cold. What could they possibly want with Tristan, he wouldn't ever hurt anyone.

'Tris!' Miles called over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on two officers in front of him, trying to stand his ground. Blissfully unaware of who was at the door he heard Tristan walk out towards the hallway.

'If it's Zoe tell her I gave her phone to Zig –' Tris stopped, his eyes landing on who exactly were their unexpected guests.

'Tristan Milligan?'

'Yes.' He answered shakily.

'We need to ask you a few questions.' The more talkative officer continued.

'About what?'

'There's been an accusation regarding one of your teachers, a Grant Yates.'

And it was that name that had Miles ready to fight.


	11. Interrogation

There was a reason that Miles hadn't questioned Tristan about his affair with their English teacher, it was because he didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear about any of it, how it started, how it had felt, none of it. Even the idea of it made him feel sick. He couldn't even bear to imagine Tristan with him doing some of the things that they had done. What he and Tristan had might not have a label on it, but it was a damn sight more real that whatever twisted relationship they had had. Tris was the only guy he'd ever had feelings for, he preferred to think that it was the same for Tristan than imagine the alternative.

'Is there any chance we can come in?' one of the officers asked.

'Is this really necessary?' Miles shot back, sensing Tristan's hesitation. Neither of them really wanted to acknowledge this, and Tris didn't seem prepared for any of the questions that were about to be thrown at him.

'It is unless you want us to take Mr. Milligan down to the station and interview him there?' the other cop spoke up.

Miles couldn't help how his eyes rolled at the old good cop bad cop routine. He hated the FBI, they always acted as if they were so much better than you, when actually they fucked up just as bad if not worse than everyone else most of the time. When he'd been younger he'd had a few run-ins with the feds himself but his dad's reputation had always kept him out of serious trouble. Still though, he knew it was better if they spoke to Tristan somewhere he felt safe.

'Fine.' Miles seethed, moving to let them through.

'Been celebrating?' the friendlier one asked, eyeing the last few empty bottles of booze that they hadn't cleared away yet as they walked through to the lounge. Tristan glanced at him, his eyes not being able to hide his fear as Miles quickly tried to think up an excuse, they still weren't legal to drink yet. Not that anyone paid any attention to that ridiculous law.

'My dad had a few friends around last night to celebrate his campaign to be mayor.' He answered, thinking on his feet. Everyone knew who his dad was, he didn't think that these two were going to be an exception.

'Where is Mr. Hollingsworth now then?'

'He's gone away for the day with my mom.' Miles answered not exactly sure why suddenly it seemed like he was under questioning.

'I see, well my name is Detective Johnson, and this is D.I. Cooper.' The guy that came across as more of a jerk announced.

'Are you okay for us to talk to you here Tristan? If you would prefer to be interviewed with your family present we can have that arranged.' D.I. Cooper asked gently.

'No. Here, please.' Tristan managed.

Miles felt his heart squeeze. Tristan looked terrified and there was nothing he could do to help. He hated feeling so useless as he leaned against the door frame with his hands in his pockets. He watched as Tris sat down on the couch delicately, picking at his fingernails and wished that this would just go away.

'Would you like this to be done in private?' Johnson asked, throwing a sneer at Miles that made him want to deck the fucker.

Tristan looked at Miles with an expression that told him the choice was up to him. He didn't really know what he wanted to do. A part of him wanted to run, to get out of here and let Tristan deal with the situation that he'd started, but he knew that wasn't fair. Tristan had been there for him whenever he had needed him. He'd dealt with his mood swings and his coped with his freak outs, as much as he disliked being in this position, they were in this together.

'I'm not going anywhere.' Miles decided aloud.

The look on Tris's face was worth it. He immediately looked calmer as a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth. He forced Miles to lock eyes with him, and when he did, Tristan looked so much more determined, knowing that he had the support he needed, from the person that meant the most. Tristan nodded his head to acknowledge that his support was appreciated and Miles tried to smile back in encouragement. He wanted Yates locked up for what he did to Tristan, and if this was the first step in getting there, then he was ready.

'Miles stays.' Tristan confirmed.

'Okay. So let's cut to the chase then, we have been informed by your Principle that there have been allegations regarding you and your English teacher Grant Yates engaging in a relationship.' D.I. Cooper began.

'I know, Principal Simpson called me into his office a few weeks ago about it.' Tristan cut in.

'And you denied these allegations?'

'Yes, I did.' Tris answered, keeping his eyes down.

'Why did you deny them?'

'Because I didn't want to get him in trouble.'

Miles clenched his fists then, trouble was exactly what Yates deserved.

'I'm sure you have been made aware that Grant Yates has now admitted that this was true.' D.I. carried on carefully.

'Yeah I was told at school recently.' Tristan replied glancing at Miles, remembering the argument that started because of it, hoping that this time that wouldn't be the case. Judging by the way Miles wouldn't look at him though, he wasn't so sure that was the case.

'When did the relationship between you two begin?'

'Not long ago, about two months or so ago. It only lasted a few weeks, he was suspended and then he told me that things had to stop.'

Miles couldn't help the annoyance that was simmering inside of him. He couldn't help but wonder if people hadn't started to suspect something, would Tris still be seeing Yates? Would their affair still be going on? Would he even fucking know about it? Tris certainly wouldn't be with him right now if no one had found out and that made him feel a bit queasy. His jealous streak was flaring, he couldn't stop picturing them together and he was getting frustrated at not being able to cease his over-active imagination.

'Was the relationship between you sexual?'

'Yes.' Tris answered hesitantly, looking quickly at Miles.

Now, Miles had always known that this was quite a strong possibility, but had never actually had it confirmed to him that his Tristan, _his _Tristan, had actually been sleeping with their teacher. Now he really couldn't decide whether he wanted to be sick or not as he felt the still alcohol poisoned contents of his stomach heave. How had it happened? Did Yates seduce him and take him to bed? Did Tristan enjoy it? He forced himself to look at Tris and saw his eyes begging him not to judge him, not to over-react, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to run now.

'Who initiated that?' D.I. Johnson asked.

'Well he did at first, but I was immature and bolted. I wanted to though, so I went back to his place and well, you know, tried again.' Tris confided.

'Did he tell you that you were immature?' Miles asked not being able restrain himself, and the way Tristan dropped his gaze to the floor was answer enough. Miles's hands were hurting he was clenching them so hard, the whites of his knuckles brazen against his already pale skin. He noticed that Johnson was scribbling this down in a notebook as he considered all of the ways he could kill Yates himself.

'Okay Tristan, thanks for your co-operation, I think we've got everything we need for now. We are going to need you to come down to the station at some point in the next couple of days to make an official statement. Is that okay?' Cooper finished, sensing that was enough for one day.

'Yeah okay. Will that be it then?' Tristan asked naively.

'Not quite, once we have gathered all of the evidence there is going to be a formal investigation, but we'll get to that when the time comes.'

Tristan just nodded, feeling emotionally exhausted and just wanting them to go so he could forget this even happened.

'Thank you for your time Tristan, and you too Miles. We'll see ourselves out.'

With that both of them got up and left briskly, leaving just Tristan and Miles to deal with the aftermath of their interruption. The silence between them was awful, Miles didn't move from his position against the door frame, desperately trying to keep calm.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Miles asked in the most sedated tone he could manage.

'Tell you what?'

'That Simpson had spoken to you about this? That you were sleeping with him?' Miles spat back.

'Because you didn't ask!' Tristan snapped.

He went quiet then. He hadn't asked because he hadn't wanted to know. He'd wanted to pretend, it had been easier that way. He'd been able to forget about it that way. But now he did know, and it made him angry. It made him jealous and he couldn't bear it because he had no control over it. At least when Maya had been acting as if Zig meant more to her than he did he'd been able to stop it. He'd been able to watch and keep an eye on things. But this? This had all happened and he'd been completely fucking oblivious to it. Everything he and Tris had done, all the things that had felt so special, now felt cheap.

'What exactly am I to you?' Miles asked, needing the reassurance that they were more than that, that he'd got this wrong.

''What d'you mean?'

'Well am I just some rebound?' he muttered, what did have to do? Draw him a picture? That thought reminded him of the night of the storm when they had played charades. Their first kiss. Is that what they were, just a charade?

'I could ask you the same thing.' Came Tristan's reply.

Miles self-control shattered then and he smashed his fist hard against the wall. Doubling up with the pain, he flexed his fingers trying to focus on something that was actually meant to hurt rather than the ache in his chest that made him feel like he was breaking. He'd broken skin and blood trickled down his palm.

'Miles!' Tristan exclaimed.

'Screw you Tris.'

'I'm sorry.' Tristan answered, walking over and trying to examine the wound. Miles snatched his hand away, not wanting his help right now.

'I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean that.'

'Yeah you did.' Miles responded, not looking at Tris when he put his hands on his shoulders and turned him towards him.

'Look Miles, I can't change any of it. You weren't there and I needed someone. If I'd had you then? Then I don't think I ever would have got involved, but I did and now all of this is happening and I don't know how to stop it.'

'He manipulated you.' Miles muttered.

'But he didn't Miles. I've told you before, he didn't make me do anything. I wanted it. It didn't matter to me that he was older, or that he was my teacher. I thought it was real.'

'Did it feel like this? Did it feel like we do?' Miles asked, not sure if he wanted the answer.

'No, it was different.'

'Good different?'

'Just different. It didn't last long enough for me to be able to define it. All I know is that when I'm with you I feel safe, everything just sort of falls into place and I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you because of something that happened before we were, well whatever we are. I need you Miles, more than I ever needed him.'

Miles knew Tris felt the tremble that ran through him when he delicately placed his hand on his neck, stroking his thumb across his skin. Even when it was Tristan making him angry, it was still only Tris that could soothe him. His eyes looked fraught with concern and anticipation, waiting for Miles to walk away like he always did. Instead Miles fought that urge gave in, letting his heart rule his head. Pulling him by his hips he crashed his mouth against Tristan's and kissed him hard trying to get lost in how Tristan made him feel. Adrenaline coursed through his veins and every nerve in his body felt like a live wire. Quickly he was reminded why he was putting himself on the line for the boy that made him question everything he thought he knew.

_I feel good when I'm around you. _


	12. High Minded

It had been a couple of days since their visit from the FBI and both Miles and Tristan were on edge. When Mr. Hollingsworth had returned home from his weekend break with his wife he had inspected the house head to toe and discovered every single speck of damaged that remained from the party. Miles had thought they had done a pretty decent job tidying up, but his dad begged to differ. He could only imagine what the reaction would have been like if they hadn't bothered to clean up at all. After a huge argument that had involved the usual 'why can't you ever be trusted' routine that Miles had heard a thousand times before the father and son had settled on firmly ignoring each other because both their lives were just easier that way. Miles hadn't been able to explain that he had more important things to deal with than worry about a few china breakages and stains on the beige carpet.

Whenever he had seen Tristan there had been a different sort of fire between them than there was normally, this intensity that had them both burning, as if they both had to savour the precious time they had together. They hadn't bothered with talking lately, Miles hadn't really allowed it, and actions spoke louder than words after all. They'd been touching and kissing and it had been hot, heavy and so good. Miles felt like he was battling himself all of the time. The reality of what he had signed up for was finally starting to set in and his feelings were beginning to scare him. Usually when things got too much he would flip out and eventually he would run. But he had told Tristan that he wasn't going to do that this time because he was different to all of the others. That was just it though, he actually was different and Miles could find the will to walk away from him.

Over the last two days he had planned to end it numerous times. He would have so much less to stress himself out about if they could just go back to how they had been before. But as soon as he had Tris in front of him he couldn't do it. When he touched him his heart would race and goose bumps would cover his skin. Once he had his mouth on him that was it, he would stop trying to fool himself that he could live without this.

It wasn't that he didn't want to stay with Tris, he wanted that more than anything but a few months ago he'd never have believed he could care about Tristan like this, that he could want him so much it frightened him. All of a sudden he was craving a guy and he'd never felt less in control. Add in a FBI investigation and a psychotic father and he wasn't really surprised that every single cell in his body was screaming at him to get out. The only thing that was keeping him there was his own selfishness, because without Tristan he wasn't really sure who he was anything. He father hated him, Maya was out of the picture, Winston and Frankie had hooked up. Tristan was what defined him, and he didn't know if he could cope without that.

That was why he'd found himself where he was right now, hidden around one of the many side entrances to the mansion, rolling a joint. Miles had taken up smoking weed at boarding school. The guys there were all the same, all spoilt with rich families and desperately trying to rebel against the repressed teachers that enforced a ton of unnecessary rules to impress the wealthy parents that were paying the extortionate fees to have their kids shipped off there. One of the best ways Miles found to rebel was by getting so high out of his mind that just for a little while he could exist in a dream-like state where he could pretend that he was someone else. He could pretend that he was normal. Old habits die hard.

He rolled the joint with swift skill, licking the edge of the paper and finishing the job expertly, taking a second to admire his handiwork. There was currently no one inhabiting the Hollingsworth mansion, Miles was the first home from school where had spent the day distracted and frustrated. Still though, Miles knew better than to smoke inside, the smell of dope clung to everything and it was not easily covered which he had learnt to his own misfortune when his dad had first caught him smoking in his room soon after he had returned after being expelled from the pre-mentioned boarding school.

Lighting it, Miles took a deep drag, breathing in so the toxins hit the back of his throat and journeyed down into his lungs. The effects never took long to kick in and soon Miles could feel the edginess that had been constantly simmering inside of him for days slowly start seeping away. Carefully he leant back against the wall as all of the bones in his body seemed to soften slightly.

Once he was about half way through he heard footsteps turning the corner. Unfortunately though the drugs had delayed his reaction times significantly and before he had a chance to do anything a voice broke the silence.

'Hey! I've been looking for you. What are you doing out –' Tristan spoke as he turned the corner and came face to face with Miles, abruptly cutting off as his eyes flickered from him to the joint that was still smoking between his fingers.

'Oh hell no. What are you doing?!' Tristan exclaimed full of the usual attitude that he expressed when he came across things that he didn't approve of.

'Smoking. Chilling.' Miles replied stating the obvious, a sense of drug fuelled arrogance hinting at his tone.

'Why?' came Tristan, who wanted to get deep and heavy and talk about Miles' incentives for doing something reckless so they could, as usual, not get anywhere.

'Wanted to relax.' Miles managed, taking another drag. He'd already been caught red handed, there was no point in trying to hide it now, and to be honest he didn't want to waste it.

'Well that's why I've come over.' Tristan shot, stood there with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Why was he so damn attractive? Even when he was pissed off Miles still wanted him. The dark hair had really grown on him now and it took all of the energy he had left not to just walk over and run his fingers through Tris's messy locks.

'Have a drag then.' Miles offered, his mind sparkling with the best idea he'd had in forever.

'No chance.' Tristan solidly refused.

'Come on, don't look at me like that. Is wanting to get high with my boyfriend really that much of a crime?'

Tristan's expressed visible shock at that and Miles really had to fight the urge to giggle. Neither of them had called the other that yet. Tris had purposefully not said it because he didn't want Miles to freak out about it. Thing was, Miles especially now with his mind hazy and his mouth uncensored, didn't really want to be anything but that.

'Is that what I am? Am I your boyfriend?' Tristan enquired, clearly needing some further clarification, suddenly now having different priorities than the drugs Miles was still languidly sucking in.

'Well we do everything that couples do. We kiss. We touch. I've gone to bed with you. I've woken up with you. I'm not doing that with anyone else so unless I've really misunderstood your intentions here I would say that yeah, you're my boyfriend, wouldn't you?' Miles couldn't help the way his voice had turned seductive as he freely declared his thoughts as they had come to him. He couldn't help the fact that they weren't fucking PG thirteen.

'But that would mean that we are… together.' Tristan observed. There was this hesitant tone to his voice as if he was concerned about saying it out loud in case he had somehow misunderstood. Miles sighed, his brain not capable right now of needing to draw Tris a diagram.

'Yeah, we're together. Now will you come over here and get high with me to celebrate?' Miles asked, holding out his free hand and cocking his own eyebrow as sexily as he could in his best efforts to convince Tris to choose him over his principles. Tristan seemed to take his hand completely on instinct and he came quite willingly when Miles tugged on him gently, pulling him towards him.

'I've never done this before.' Tris confided.

_Me neither. _The thought flashed through Miles's mind before he could stop it. Even though they were both talking about completely different things Miles couldn't begin to imagine exactly how many things he had never done before until it came to Tristan.

'You just sort of suck and then breathe in.' Miles said innocently, but the second he caught Tristan's eyes the implications of that statement became glaringly obvious and they both burst into laughter, needing to take a few minutes to regain their composure. Every time a laugh racked through him Miles's head he felt like another wave of his high was coming over him. He felt blissfully happy.

'Oh my god.' Miles giggled, wiping at his eyes as he lit the joint back to life.

'You ready?'

'I'm not sure about this.' Tris answered. The concern in his eyes gave him away easily. That was another thing Miles liked about him, Tris never tried to hide from him anymore. Most of the time he could read him like a book.

'You don't have to.' Miles said, not wanting to peer pressure him as immediately he felt like he was as bad as Yates, encouraging Tris to do things that he wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with. He didn't want to be like that, he cared about Tristan more than that. Even if he couldn't deal with their problems right now without getting high occasionally, that didn't mean Tristan had to do the same. He wanted Tristan to trust him enough to know that he could say no and it wouldn't matter.

'Seriously, it's totally your call. No pressure.' Miles confirmed, savouring another pull himself as yet another wave came over him, leaving his mind spinning. He could make out Tristan debating between staying the angel that he was and dabbling in the dark side, but he couldn't really focus enough to know whether he'd made a decision.

'Screw it, everything once.' His voice interrupted from somewhere in the distance. Tris took the joint from him and carefully took a pull, coughing hard when he tried to breathe it in.

'It tastes disgusting.' Tris spluttered.

'Hey! Don't laugh at me.' He scolded when Miles doubled up in fits.

'Sorry, hey I'm sorry. Try again.' Miles answered, refraining the urge to allow the hysterics to take over him.

Tristan did however, seem to take to it like a duck to water though. After a couple more drags he was taking smooth pulls and Miles watched with a fixated interest as the buzz took hold of him too.

'D'you like the feeling?' Miles quizzed as he watched Tristan sway from side to side with his eyes closed and a lazy smile on his face. The hum Miles got in return told him everything he needed to know. Fuck he needed to smoke with Tris more often, he looked so hot, all loose and easy and it was all for him, it always had been.

'Come here.'

Tristan opened his eyes then, his smile stretching further across his face.

'Why?' He questioned teasingly, his eyes expressing something dark, something sexy that Miles had never seen so vibrantly in him before.

'Because I want to kiss you.' Miles stated full of conviction.

'_Go ahead_.' Tristan responded coyly, playing on the words from their first proper kiss, it was becoming their own personal joke now.

Miles lunged forward and brought their mouths together, not needing any more persuading. He kissed him slowly, relishing the sensation of how slack Tristan's mouth was. Instantly his whole body felt warmer. When Tris pushed his tongue into his mouth his hands automatically came up and a moan escaped from the back of his throat as he pushed Tris back into the wall by his hips. Miles ran his hands down him, not stopping like they usually did at Tristan's belt. He palmed him through his jeans as he kissed down his jaw before sucking at his neck. Tristan's hands came up and gripped at his hair so he increased the pressure, enjoying how he as writhing for him.

'Fuck, Miles.' Tristan gritted through his teeth, the pleasure feeling like a sweet torture. Miles liked the way the curse sounded coming out of his mouth. Adrenaline was thrumming through him and he couldn't decide whether it was hindering his high or consuming him even more.

'I've missed this.' Miles muttered, sliding his hands up so he could grind his hips into him, bringing their lips back together. He had, he'd missed everything feeling this simple, this fluid. He'd never dreamed of the day that he and Tris, this close, making out whilst high off of their faces would feel like heaven to him, but it did. Now he couldn't imagine not having this, Tristan was his and that meant everything.

Unfortunately in the bliss of this very moment and the impairment of his senses Miles had overlooked the new pair of footsteps that were now approaching them, on the hunt for him.

'Miles!' came the cold enraged voice of Mr. Hollingsworth.

**Please accept this chapter as my apology for taking a while to update. To any of you still reading, I hope you've enjoyed! Forgive me and please review if you can. I love you all! xxx**


	13. One Forward Two Back

Miles jumped away from Tristan, the only instinct stronger than wanting pleasure from the person he trusted more than anything being to try and be everything his dad wanted him to be. His head suddenly felt heavy from the weed, weighing him down as he looked between the two people that divided who he was. His dad defined everything he should have been, he was meant to be like him and that was why the only words he could find were ones that would make Chewy right. He always hurt the people he cared about.

'This isn't what it looks like.'

His father looked at him incredulously, but what hurt more was the look in Tristan's eyes. Miles saw the betrayal staring back at him, watching as the sadness swept through the boy he desperately wished he could make happy. Tris didn't say anything, he just looked up refusing to meet his eyes, not wanting to acknowledge the apology Miles was trying to silently communicate.

'What the hell is this Miles? A few months ago you were seeing girls, and now you're kissing boys?'

Miles didn't feel high anymore, he felt lost. He didn't know how to answer that. He didn't know what had happened either, he didn't know where this had come from. But he hadn't known how to fight something that felt so real.

'I'm sorry.' Miles muttered.

At that Tristan did look at him, but it was with anger this time and Miles knew why. How could he apologise for being with him? Tris had been used before, and Miles was meant to be the one person who wasn't ashamed, who wasn't embarrassed because of what they had. Miles hung his head, the guilt feeling unbearable. He wanted to run, but where he could he run to now? Tristan was his escape and he'd just stabbed him in the back.

'So are you gay now?' His father gritted out.

'No.' Miles immediately retorted. He wasn't gay. He still liked girls, he still thought girls were hot. Tristan was just an exception, that didn't make him gay. It didn't matter to him that Tris was a dude, he just needed how he made him feel.

'Then what's this about?' His father pushed.

'Yeah Miles, what's this about?' Tristan echoed, the bitterness in his voice blatant as he glared at him, his eyes as sharp as knives.

'I – I don't know.' He stuttered, not having any answers.

'This is the drugs isn't it?' His dad decided out loud.

'I can smell it out here, all this dope you've been smoking, its finally screwed with your head hasn't it? It's confused you.'

'No dad –' Miles tried.

'It has to be that. It just has to be because you are not my son.' Mr Hollingsworth spat.

'Dad, I'm still the same person.' Miles fought, his dad's disappointment making his heart feel as heavy as the rest of him.

'Get inside.' Mr Hollingsworth ordered.

'Dad, please.' Miles begged. Even though he was unsure what he wanted from this situation, he did know that he didn't want this. He needed to talk to Tris, to make him understand.

'Now, Miles.'

Miles turned to Tris with pleading eyes. _Please. _Tristan looked back at him longingly wishing things didn't need to be like this. Silently, he shook his head and used every ounce of willpower he had to turn away from him. This had been coming for a while now, he'd known that but he hadn't wanted to face it. Miles meant everything to him, he knew that if certain people found out about them they would just think he was desperate for a boyfriend but that wasn't true. He was desperate for Miles, and he had been from the beginning, ever since Paris. After Miles had got together with Maya, Tris had accepted it was never going to happen and had settled for having him in his life as a best friend. It had even been enough, then came the storm. After they'd kissed that night things couldn't be the same again, the flicker of hope Tristan had drowned in order to be his friend had been lit again, and he didn't have the strength to kill that a second time. If he still couldn't have Miles the way he wanted him, then he had to walk away. Slowly, that was exactly what he did, forcing one foot in front of the other.

'Tris – I'm sorry!' Miles yelled, as the elder Hollingsworth grabbed him by his arm and hauled him back into the house.

'Get your hands off me!' Miles fought, wrenching himself free from his dad's grip as he was thrown into the hallway. His father was strong though, and when he managed to get a fist full of his shirt during their struggle Miles was hurled roughly back against the wall. Pain shot through him, and he stopped fighting, jaw clenched as he tried to control the throbbing in his back.

'This will stop now. Whatever this is. It will stop. I will not let you ruin my campaign on one of your whims.' Mr Hollingsworth seethed.

'Not everything is about your stupid campaign.' Miles growled back.

'Well I asked you what this was about. I asked you back there, you couldn't answer me. I asked you if you were gay, you said no. I'm not going to tolerate your tantrums anymore.'

'He's my boyfriend. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?! He makes me feel good enough, which is a damn sight more than you ever do!' Miles yelled, saying the words before he'd even thought them through.

At that his dad loosened his grip on him. Looking him up and down as if he really couldn't believe how the son he had raised had turned out like this. Breathing heavily, Miles waited for the usual lecture.

'I don't think he's your boyfriend any more, do you?' Mr Hollingsworth stated calmly. Composing himself, he too turned away from his son and walked away, leaving Miles to deal with the mess he'd made for himself.

That hurt Miles more than anything else he could have said. He could have told him he was a waste of space, that he wasn't the son he'd wanted, that he was washing his hands of him. He'd heard all of that before and he knew how to handle that, but acknowledging that he'd lost Tristan? That stung.

What was he going to do now? He was alone, he had nothing. The one person that made him feel normal had given up too, and who could blame him. He'd made Tristan think he wasn't important, that they weren't what he thought they were. When he was with Tris, even when they were arguing, he felt as if he knew who he was, he felt as if he belonged somewhere. Without him, he felt empty. There was nothing he wanted more than to be everything Tris needed him to be. For the first time he realised that he couldn't do both. He couldn't be with Tris and keep his dad happy. He had a choice to make; either he stayed here and devoted his life into pretending he was the son his dad wanted, or he had to leave. He didn't have anything to lose anymore.

Overwhelmed with decision Miles ran upstairs and dug out his old camping backpack. Shoving everything that came to hand inside, he rung Tristan. Letting it ring about ten times he realised that he wasn't going to pick the phone up. In frustration he hung up and chucked his phone inside too. He then found his two favourite hoodies and his black converses. Squeezing them in he forced the zipper shut and heaved the straining bag over his shoulder.

'Miles?'

He whipped round to find himself confronted by his sister, who suddenly looked so young. He'd watched her grow up, and he hadn't always been the brother she needed, but seeing her there fiddling with her hands as she worked out what he was doing made his heart wrench.

'Don't go Miles. Please.' She whispered, her eyes brimming with tears.

'I'm sorry Frankenstein.' Miles replied, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her slim frame, hugging her tight.

'I know it's difficult, but it will get better.' She tried to convince him as the tears spilled over, running down her pink cheeks as she held on to her big brother.

'I've got to sis. If I don't then things never will get better. You're a big girl now, you'll be okay.' Miles managed to say, comforting her even though his mind was made up.

'Are you going to tell dad?' She asked, trying to stifle her crying as she gripped him tighter.

'No, not for a while. He probably won't even notice.'

'Of course he will. He does love you Miles.'

Miles shook his head on instinct, knowing that was a lie.

'No he doesn't. Please don't tell him Frankenstein, not yet. Promise me.' He asked, holding her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.

'Okay, promise.' She sniffed.

'Good girl. Love you okay, and keep an eye on Hunter for me.' Miles said, kissing her on the forehead before giving his little sister one last hug and heading for the door.

Legging it downstairs Miles raced out of the house trying to remain undetected. Once he was outside and the door had locked behind him Miles realised it was lashing down with rain. He looked up at the sky, letting the rain drench him, before heading to the only place he could go. Picking up his feet he started to run, needing to release the energy that was eating away at him somehow. He ran all the way the way there, the rain beating down on him.

When he got to the door he questioned this decision for the first time. What if he wasn't welcome here? Still, he didn't really have any alternative so gathering his courage he knocked on the door and waited, praying for mercy.

When the door clicked Miles held his breath.

It swung open wide and the inhabitant stared at their unexpected guest. Miles was soaked through from the rain, his dark hair dripping down his face, his lips dark red under the bleak light from the grey sky and a huge backpack hanging off his shoulder.

'What are you doing here?'

Miles didn't know how to explain the events that had unfolded to lead him to this doorstep. He didn't even want to say sorry. He just wanted to tell the truth because this was where he was meant to be.

'I can't lose you.'

Tris looked at him with big wide eyes, eyes that always expressed how he felt.

'I told him the truth, I told him about us. For god's sake Tristan I need you, have you not realised that yet? Can I stay with you for a bit? We can talk, we can work this out. I don't know who I am without you, I can't lose you Tris.' Miles stressed, spilling his heart out as he tried to stop his voice breaking.

The best thing about having nothing left to lose is that you're free to do and say everything you've ever wanted to, because there are no consequences anymore. The worst thing that could happen now was leaving here in exactly the same position he was in already. Tristan leaned against the door, just staring at him as if he wasn't sure whether or not he was dreaming. Taking a deep breath he managed to remember how talking worked.

'Does your dad know you're here?'

'No, and I'd rather he didn't. I just want to spend some time with you. I want to sort this.'

'Why did you say that stuff before? Why could you not just tell the truth?'

'I just froze. He caught us kissing, it wasn't exactly the way I was planning on telling him.' Miles answered quickly, before carrying on.

'But I have told him now, he knows about me and you and you know what the worst thing he said to me was? It wasn't anything to do with me being a failure as usual. He made me realise that I'd lost you, and I can't let that happen.'

Miles watched as Tris sighed, wondering whether or not they were ever going to stop ending up here. Whether they were worth another chance.

'There's not much space. You'd have to crash in my room.' Tristan answered.

Miles felt a huge wave of relief come over him. After everything they'd been through, Tristan still had faith in them. Some people would have thought he was gullible but Miles knew that wasn't it. Tris had this innocence about him, he continuously saw the good in Miles and there was no better mercy than that. Miles allowed a huge smile to brighten his face as he felt his heart flutter at just how lucky he was to have this boy care about him.

'No complaints from me.' He replied.

'Don't think you're forgiven for what you did today.' Tristan said firmly, wanting Miles to know he had a hell of a lot of making up to do.

'I know.' Miles answered seriously.

'Better come inside then, it's freezing out here.' Tris said, stepping back to let Miles in.

'Sir, yes Sir.' Miles obeyed with a salute, heading in to the Milligan household with a heart full of hope that he could make things right.


	14. Temptation

As Miles hauled his stuff through the door he took a look around Tristan's house for the first time. It was small, in comparison to his anyway, and he recognised snippets of it that he'd seen in the background during many of their conversations over Face Range. Miles knew that Tristan had an older brother, but he was away at college focusing on his sports after graduating from Degrassi a while back. He knew Tristan's parents both lived here, but he didn't know much about them and looking around the living room he realised he didn't know much about Tristan's home life at all. They didn't really talk about that kind of stuff when they were together, Miles only talked about his home life. He had never really thought to ask about Tristan's because he always assumed his family life had more drama going on that he needed to get off his chest. God he really was selfish.

'Is there anyone home?' Miles asked, looking back at over his shoulder at Tristan who was leaning against the closed front door with his arms folded.

'No, my folks both work late.' Tristan answered.

'Will they mind me staying here?' Miles questioned, nervous about his first meeting with Tristan's parents to be because he'd legged it from his own house especially when they would undoubtedly know who his father was.

'Doubt it. Their always arguing too much to notice anything I do.' Tristan answered casually, pushing himself off the wall and walking into the living room.

'Your parents argue?' Miles called after him, gingerly following. He was concerned he might bump into something or knock something out of place. He was so used to having so much space to move around that he felt slightly confined in Tristan's home. He liked it there instinctively though, the room was painted a deep warm red with a black leather couch that was worn around the edges. It was slightly untidy with magazines and newspapers strewn around and clothes were hung off all available objects. They had wooden blinds instead of luxurious curtains. A reasonable sized TV stood opposite the couch and was in between two large bookcases, one filled seemingly with novels and the other packed with CD's and DVD's. It was cosy.

'All the time.' Tristan commented with a sigh.

Tristan had never really spoken about his family much and in that moment Miles hated himself for never really asking. He was always so wrapped up in what was going on in his life that he hadn't even considered life might not be a box of chocolates for Tristan every day either. But before he had a chance to find out anything more, Tristan changed the subject.

'Do you think this is a good idea?'

'What?' Miles replied, playing dumb.

'Staying here, with me.' Tristan spelt out for him.

Miles didn't really know how to answer that. He knew that things were so precarious between them at the moment that staying here was either going to destroy them or make them stronger. He had no idea which way things were going to go, but he wanted to take that risk. Plus he didn't really want to be anywhere else right now. At the same time he knew that Tristan was in control right now, he wanted to do whatever he had to to sort things out between them. If that meant finding somewhere else to stay for a while, then so be it.

'It's up to you. This is your home and I know you're still angry. If you don't want me to stay then I'll go.' Miles answered, picking up his backpack which he'd placed by his feet to give his shoulder a rest.

'No don't.' Tristan stated, stopping him. Miles immediately did as he was told and dropped the bag back down.

'It's not that I mind if you stay. I just have no clue what's going on between us right now and I don't want this to be awkward.'

Miles moved towards Tristan automatically, he didn't really know why, maybe it was the intimacy of being in Tristan's safe haven but he felt an overwhelming sense of commitment wave over him. He needed this to work because without it he didn't think he would ever feel so comfortable with someone again in his life. What they had between them had never felt awkward for him. Miles reached out and took his hand. Straight away he felt his heartbeat hitch as his skin sparked at the contact but at the same time he was concerned that he might be crossing Tristan's already unsteady boundaries.

Tristan looked down at their hands and after a few seconds he entwined his fingers with Miles's, holding on tighter. Miles felt tension he hadn't even noticed building seep out of him as relief chased the blood through his veins. He'd already prepared himself for Tris to push him away, to not want to be close to him after all the horrible things he had said. This was a good sign, and it made him want to work on this even harder.

'I told you Tris. I don't know where I'd be without you. I really need you to stick this out with me. Please?' Miles urged as he tapped the bottom of Tristan's chin with his free hand to make him look at him properly.

When he did, Miles thought he might melt. He was never going to get tired of those eyes. Tristan's eyes were defined by these long sweeping lashes. Right now they were an electric blue, but that changed. Occasionally they were a greyish colour, or they were icy. Sometimes they even had a tinge of green to them, they had once joked that Tristan's eyes expressed his mood and in a weird way they did. Miles had always found it so easy to read those eyes and he never wanted that to change.

'You know how much I care about you Miles, but I don't want to be your experiment that you use and abuse for a while. What you said to your dad earlier, that's not the Miles I care about.' Tristan spoke softly, doing his best to stand firm. The problem was Miles could make him so angry or sad or frustrated, but the second he took his hand and spoke to him like that, all he could remember was how much he wanted this dark haired part time villain of a sort of boyfriend.

'You have never been my experiment Tris. You know that.' Miles answered. It niggled at him that Tristan's insecurities still had him doubting how much Miles actually wanted him. It was like every time they had an argument, Tris managed to convince himself that he'd been right all along and that Miles was just using him. It made him believe he should have trusted his instincts and that he should have seen it coming. Tristan's insecure side became so prominent that he punished himself when things went wrong and Miles forgot sometimes before he spoke that Tristan always remembered everything he said.

'You don't even know what you are Miles.' Tristan muttered and Miles didn't think he even noticed that he inadvertently brushed his thumb across his knuckles when he spoke. Miles did though, it made him shiver.

'Bisexual.' Miles answered with a small smile.

'Oh so you've decided now have you?' Tristan coyly replied with a raised eyebrow.

'I didn't decide anything. I'm attracted to women, always have been, but I'm attracted to you too. And you're a guy.'

'Oh really? I hadn't noticed.' Tristan laughed and Miles loved the way the smile on his face changed him. There was something so sweet about Tristan. When he looked happy it was as if the whole damn world had been scattered with sunshine. Miles couldn't help but smile back.

'Do you want to come upstairs? We can play Xbox or something.' Tristan invited.

'Yeah, sure.' Miles responded, not letting go of Tristan's hand as he picked up his stuff and let Tristan lead the way upstairs. He realised that he'd never seen Tristan's room before, which was just another reminder that there was still so much he had to learn about his newly brunette counterpart.

On entering Tristan's room Miles was immediately surprised. Tristan being so flamboyant in nature he had assumed that he would have a room that he would consider girly. Instead he was confronted by a sanctuary that was sort of gothic in nature. The walls were a dark purple, with a small television standing on a chest of drawers which was connected to a DVD player and an Xbox. The room was dimly lit by a large lamp on the bedside table and all of Tristan's school work was scattered on the floor. The single bed itself was covered in a black duvet and Miles was amused by exactly how Tris expected that to work. Whenever Tristan had stayed with him they had ample room in Miles's king size double bed. He wasn't about to complain though, there was no chance he was sleeping on the floor if had anything to say about it.

'What are you staring at?' Tristan asked, interrupting his observations.

'I don't know, it's just … not what I expected.' Miles admitted as he walked over to the wall furthest from the door.

Beside a long mirror that was propped up against a wardrobe Tristan had tons of photos pinned into the wall. Taking a look Miles couldn't stop the grin that tugged at his cheeks. There were lots of photographs of Tristan and his brother. Owen looked a lot like Tristan, they both had the same mouth and nose. There were also shots of Tris and Maya, some from before Miles had arrived on the scene, and a selection of their best poses from Paris. Miles fondly remembered that school trip where it all began as he came across some pictures with them both in, some that Miles had forgotten about. There was a shot of them both in Paris too, one from Miles's pool party and one they had taken a few weeks ago before their History of Fashions presentation with Miles in his private uniform. His favourite snap of them both though was one from the night of his birthday. They were both clearly drunk, Miles had both of his arms wrapped round Tris's waist and was pulling a silly face as Tris mimed kissing him on the cheek. He considered for the first time how good they looked together, they really were kind of cute.

'These are so cool.' Miles thought out loud as he took an interest in looking at the photos from before he knew Tris. It was strange to see these frozen moments of Tris's history, split seconds of his life that he never seemed to reminisce about. Tristan managed to be so talkative and friendly without actually ever saying anything that showed you who he was. Miles made a mental note to ask Tris about the context of each and every one of these pictures. He would have asked there and then but he felt Tristan come behind him and his thoughts immediately went elsewhere.

Miles could feel Tristan's breath on the back of his neck. As they matched in height, Miles felt every inch of Tristan's body as it brushed against him and for a split second he was concerned that his legs might give out. Reminding himself that he was made of tougher stuff than that he locked his knees and turned his head to Tris who was so dangerously close their lips brushed.

'Don't do that.' Tristan murmured.

'Do what?' Miles answered, his voice unintentionally husky, as his kept his eyes fixed on Tristan's plush lips, temptation overwhelming him. He respected Tris though, and if he didn't get a green light that he could, he wouldn't.

'Don't make me forget that I'm mad at you.' Tris replied still stuck where he was, not quite being able to find the will to break the connection between them that always managed to take priority over everything else.

'Please, Tristan.' Miles pleaded, hoping the use of his full name might convey how seriously **he** did need to forget, he didn't want to remember anymore. He was in Tristan's home and already felt more like he had a place carved out for him here in these walls than he ever had at the Hollingsworth mansion.

Gently he edged forward and let his lips rest on Tristan's. He wasn't met by restraint, Tris didn't even move and in a way that was worse, that frustrated him even more. Pulling away, he took the hint and stepped back not wanting to push any further, even though it took every ounce of strength he had in him.

Quicker than he had time to process Tristan grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him back flush against him. Tris kissed him this time, and he kissed him hard. Miles couldn't help the moan that escaped him when Tris flicked his tongue against his teeth, asking for entrance which he gave him so, so willingly. He allowed Tristan to push him back against the wall as he let the adrenaline running through him turn him submissive.

To be honest, he was pretty convinced he would give Tristan anything he asked for willingly if he kept kissing him like that.


	15. Paramour

As he let Tristan take complete control of him Miles had never felt desire like it in his life. He wanted Tristan everywhere, on his mouth, on his skin, on his dick. He couldn't help it, it wasn't like him but as Tristan slipped his wet, hot tongue into his mouth every nerve ending in his body felt like it was burning. He wasn't sure whether or not he was dying, or if he'd never felt more alive. He needed Tristan like this, this is what turned him on, what drove him crazy. Tris suddenly caught hold of both of his wrists and held them firmly above his head and he let him without any hesitation. He didn't want control anymore, Tris could have it. He wanted Tristan to dominate him, to take him any way he wanted. Having the initiative took too much energy, it was too hard that way. Whenever he had the control he felt like he was always stopping himself from pushing too far, trying to be careful of pushing Tristan outside of his comfort zone. At least this way Tristan could take things as far as he wanted and if he wanted to stop then they would. If he didn't want to then Miles definitely wasn't going to stop him. Either way neither of them was going to lose out.

There was something about how lenient Tristan's mouth always was that made Miles hard. His eyes had fluttered shut so long ago and he was fighting hard to get his wrists free, so desperate to touch Tris, to touch him everywhere.

'Let go of me.' Miles stated, needing the contact, craving it. He felt so deprived that a part of him was so upset his chest spasm as if he might cry. As Tristan kissed down his neck though, he couldn't help but let his head fall back and his eyes fly shut again as he worked hard to get his body as close to Tris as he could manage.

Tristan didn't let him go, he just chuckled darkly into his neck, glancing up at him with a smile as he began to bite at the tender flesh above Miles's collarbone. Miles knew he wasn't going to get his way, so using all of his strength he jumped up and wrapped his legs around Tristan's hips locking his ankles together behind him.

Tristan let go of his wrists in shock as he managed to balance holding Miles's whole body weight on top of him as he raised his dark haired bisexual best friend slash boyfriend up against the wall. Bisexual, Miles had said he was bisexual. That meant that he was attracted to him. Like properly full on attracted to him, the same way he was to girls. That meant he wanted him in the way he'd wanted Maya, the way he'd wanted all of the girls he'd ever been with. He didn't care right now that Miles's frame was scrunching up all of the photos he'd so carefully taken the time to print and pin to the wall. Having Miles against the wall at all, that was what was important right now.

He'd always assumed that Miles would be the dominant one out of two, he'd always expected that when, if ever they came to this moment where they wanted each other so much that Miles would take control of him and turn possessive even though he had no experience with boys. Tristan wasn't a virgin anymore, he'd lost it to Yates and even though he could sort of see now that that wasn't how his first time should have been, it helped that he knew what he was doing.

Miles was kissing him so desperately, conveying all of the emotions that he hadn't been able to express with words. He could feel that Miles was sorry by the way he was scattering kisses anywhere he could reach, by the way his breathing hitched every time Tris swiped his tongue at his skin. Having the use of his hands again gave him power and he quickly pulled Tristan's shirt over his head revealing his pale toned frame. Miles bit at his neck and Tris knew there would be bruises there soon after but in that moment he really didn't give a damn, in a way it sort of pleased him. At least he could tell everyone that Miles was the one that had put them there.

Having Miles wrapped around him as Tris held him against the wall gave Miles a height advantage that he wasn't usually used to. Miles was touching everywhere that his hands could reach, running them through his hair, down his neck and across his shoulders. Tristan's bare skin felt so fucking good. When Tristan moved forward slightly, pushing him even harder into the wall that he was balancing against he moaned so loudly he was glad that there was no one in to hear them that they had to hide from. Tristan must have liked it, because he rewarded Miles with a kiss so deep Miles had to work hard just to move his mouth against his in a response that indicated he liked it. Miles dragged his nails harshly against Tristan's back and felt his heart throb when he hissed back in retaliation.

Miles felt so on edge. He felt frantic. His brain felt like it was swelling and he couldn't think anymore. Tristan was the only person who could make him forget like this. His dad, the fact he'd ran away, the weed, all the problems he had right now completely evaporated out of him as he ground his back against the wall, pushing hard into Tris, totally welcoming the whimper that the movement strung from him. He didn't care anymore, he didn't care if he made an idiot out of himself, he didn't care that he was doing this with a guy. He would do absolutely anything Tris asked of him, and he would be so utterly willing to do it.

His hands were in Tristan's hair, the dark hair that he found so damn sexy when he took a moment to appreciate how good it looked against his pale skin and flushed red mouth. When Tris let go of him and let him fall loosely back down to the floor he thought he might die in that second at the lack of contact. Quickly though Tristan fumbled with his belt and unbuttoned his jeans with such swift expertise if Miles wasn't so wrapped up in the moment he would have asked him right then where he'd learnt to do that. But before he even had time to dwell on that for too long Tristan had his hand on his dick ad he thought he might come there and then.

Miles pulled his own shirt off, feeling it was only fair that he made them even as he wrapped his arm around Tristan's bare back, enjoying how Tristan's muscles contorted against his nails every time he moved. At the same time he needed some cool air against his skin, he felt like he was burning up as heat radiated through him. For them, this felt rough. They weren't usually like this, they were sweet and took the time to check with each other first what was okay and what wasn't, but there was something between them right then that communicated that everything was okay. There was nothing that either of them could try right now that would be rejected out of hand.

Miles couldn't prevent how he moaned Tristan's name as he ran his hand along his swollen dick. He had never had less control over how his voice sounded in his life. He sounded ragged and husky, needier than ever. But that was how he felt, his heart was racing and all he could focus on was where Tristan's hands were and he wasn't sure how long he was going to hold out because every inch of his body was begging for this. He felt like he was on fire and ice cold at the same time. Then all of sudden Tristan was on his knees and Miles's legs turned to jelly all over again.

Slowly, so, so slowly Tristan took him in his mouth and Miles genuinely didn't know how he stopped himself from exploding straight away. Now it wasn't as if Miles had ever had a blowjob before. He had, and like every other guy on the planet he agreed it was one of the best things that you could ever possibly receive in life. But there was something about the fact it was Tristan that made him feel like he was just going to go off at any second. His Tris, his sweet little boyfriend. Yes boyfriend, was sucking him off and his mouth was so warm and wet and hot around him. He had never thought that he would get off on someone taking such command over him, and maybe usually he wouldn't. But it was the fact that it was Tristan. He would never have expected this boy to have to have such confidence in what he was doing that it made his legs tremble as he licked down him torturously.

Tristan licked at the head, seemingly enjoying the precome that was dripping out of him and Miles realised he couldn't watch anymore without this being over sooner than he wanted. He shut his eyes tight, let his head tip back and parted his lips in his best effort to get his breathing under control. He was so glad that the wall behind him was there for support as he focused every single remaining brain cell he had on not coming in Tristan's mouth.

'Don't do that.' Tristan mumbled before sucking hard on him. Miles's two hands both had different ideas on what to do at that point. One grabbed hold of Tristan's hair, clinging on to his brunette lover as he tried to keep himself where he was as the moans fell out of him so uncaringly because this just felt so good. The other flailed wildly around him, urgently seeking something to hold onto as he tried to stop himself from just collapsing to the floor. Eventually he had to settle for the wall supporting him, stretching his hand out across the flat surface, trying to grip onto something that wasn't there.

'Do what?' he managed to grit out in between moans and gasps and all of the other explicit noises he'd never heard himself make before.

'Fight it.' Tristan answered around him and the vibrations immediately made Miles slide down the structure keeping him upright. He was shaking everywhere, he had no control over anything and he had never felt so submissive in his life. He trusted Tristan so much, he felt like he could be vulnerable with him. In that moment, he had never been more vulnerable.

'If I don't then I'm gonna come.' Miles answered. It was the truth at least. He didn't have the energy to make up some bullshit excuse right now. That was the truth, if he didn't fight it he wasn't going to have any control over his own body any more.

'Come then. I want you to. Don't fight me.' Tristan stamped out in between the extremely skilled sucking he was doing with his mouth. One of Tris's arms was wrapped around Miles's legs, trying to help in keeping him vertical whilst the other was gripping tightly on his hip bone, his fingers applying pressure to the sensitive spot.

Miles managed to hold out about a minute longer, whimpering and moaning to his hearts damn content as he twisted and wriggled against Tristan's strong hands that were holding him right where he was, not allowing him to get away from how good this felt. Tristan wasn't going to let him run this time, he had to find the strength to stand there and accept that Tris was owning him and he did.

He felt his orgasm approach in waves, three to be precise. He couldn't feel anything except this, he couldn't even remember his own name as he came harder than he ever had before. He'd always thought sex was a bit overrated, but if this was how it was meant to feel then he'd been so wrong. Maybe he just hadn't been hooking up with the right people.

Tristan didn't take his mouth off Miles when he came. He took the hot spurts right at the back of his throat and he sort of enjoyed it. The taste was salty, and not unpleasant. The best reward came from how Miles looked when he let go though. His muscles were clenching from how he was trying to control his body's shuddering, his thighs were convulsing against him, his eyes were squeezed shut and his lips were parted as he ground out Tristan's name. Tris had never felt so powerful over him and he would suck him off every day forever if this is how Miles would always look for him.

When Miles had ridden out his orgasm long enough to focus again he immediately sank down against the wall, his legs not having the ability to hold his body weight up anymore. Using every ounce of will he still had left he pulled Tristan toward him and did his best to kiss him with his slack mouth. He was being messy and uncoordinated, he knew that, but there was nothing he could do about it. Besides, Tristan didn't seem to mind as he smiled against Miles, gently moulding their lips together as he kissed Miles back down to Earth again, wrapping his arms around him, to show him that he was always, always, safe with him.

As Miles tried to get his racing heart under control, he was already contemplating how best to repay the favour. The one lesson that his mother had taught him growing up was that one good turn always deserved another.


	16. Moodkiller

One of the things Miles appreciated most about Tristan was that he wasn't pushy. He gave so willingly but never asked for anything in return. That was why when Tris unwound his arms from him and tried to move to get out of his personal space whilst he fully recovered Miles snatched at his wrist to stop him. Using his shaky knees he pushed himself up off the floor and kissed Tristan quickly, keeping him quiet before he tried to tell Miles that he didn't have to. The issue was, he really wanted to.

_He doesn't have to touch you, but he can if he wants._

Miles could feel Tristan resisting but he didn't stop, he couldn't. He pushed Tristan back gently until the back of his legs hit the bed and he didn't have a choice but to sink down and let Miles straddle him. He loved the way Tris's body felt underneath him, so warm and solid. He appreciated the subtle differences between how it felt to dominate a girl, every now and then because this was still so new to him he noticed small things that turned him on that he'd never thought would. The way Tristan's thighs were muscly and firm beneath him, his rigid hip bones, and the way he could taste himself on his tongue were just a few examples.

As he kissed down Tristan's neck and sucked gently on his collarbone he felt a wave of nerves produce butterflies in his stomach whilst he unbuttoned Tristan's skinny jeans. He tried not to focus on the concern that he wasn't sure if he could do this because he knew that Tris would guide him. He knew it was normal to be nervous, but he wanted to make Tristan feel as good as he had just made him feel and with his lack of experience, he didn't want to embarrass himself.

He fought the nerves though, because he was crucially aware that if there was anyone who wasn't going to judge him, it was Tris. As he left chaste kisses down Tristan's chest and palmed him through his jeans, making his hips buck up against him Miles was pretty sure he could feel his heartbeat. Glancing up at Tristan he noticed that he was quiet, staring up at the ceiling as he just tried to remember to breathe as Miles freed him from the constraints of his underwear. That was when a shocking thought hit Miles, was Tris nervous too? He hadn't really thought about it, considering that he knew that he had done this stuff before, but actually Tristan had wanted to be with him for so long that on second thoughts, he wasn't surprised that Tris might be feeling this as intensely as he was.

That reassured Miles slightly, the knowledge that as usual, they were in this together. It didn't feel so competitive anymore and that helped with the self-esteem issues that were running through an unwanted part of his brain. Slowly Miles wrapped his right hand around him and jacked him, earning a hiss from Tris as he sharply drew in oxygen trying to control the pleasure jolting through his body. But Miles knew he could do this, they'd done this before and he'd managed to do a relatively decent job if Tris's reactions had been anything to go by. He wanted to try something new this time, to push himself because he loved crossing his own boundaries.

That was why before he could talk himself out of it he licked a long streak up Tristan's dick from base to tip. Tristan's hand immediately flew to his hair, as if not sure whether to pull him away or keep him there. Miles couldn't help but grin at how his back arched up and then took him in his mouth, placing both hands on his hips to settle him. Now Miles had never had the urge to see what giving a blow job was like in his life, but now he wasn't sure why because it wasn't bad at all. The actual thought of it was weirder than the act itself. He realised that he couldn't fit the whole length in his mouth and didn't feel confident enough to test his gag reflex yet so he decided to work on what he could manage.

Using his hand to jerk what his mouth couldn't reach Miles did his best to build up a rhythm as his head bobbed up and down on Tristan. It must have been working because Tristan wasn't so quiet anymore and Miles was relishing the delicious noises that fell out of him. He traced all of the veins on him with his tongue as he became even more decided that he was enjoying this. Tristan's legs were shaking despite the free hand that he had under his shirt, running down his waist as he tried to soothe him. Miles pushed his dick down to the back of his throat and noticed that somehow he managed to accommodate more and more of him every time he tried to take him deeper. The sensation was alien, but he liked how he could feel him pulsing and swollen in his mouth, it felt intimate.

It only took a few more minutes of work for Miles to hear the warning that Tris managed to utter before he pulled off and continued to jack him, applying more pressure with his fingers than he could with his mouth without being worried he might graze his teeth against the sensitive muscle. Miles kept his hand moving as he crawled up the bed and kissed Tristan hard. Tris wrapped his arm around him, nails digging in as he came. Looking delirious as his body went slack after coming down from his high Tris looked like he was melting in to the mattress as he let his head fall back on the pillow, chuckling in wonder. Miles just laid next to him with his head propped up on his arm as he ran his fingers delicately down his side, watching with curiosity.

'That was so good.' Tristan muttered as his eyes fluttered open.

'I know.' Miles said with an easy smile as he shifted his arm and allowed himself to nestle into Tristan's shoulder. This is why he had wanted to stay with Tris, because nowhere else in the world made him feel so peaceful.

Miles didn't know how long they'd stayed like that, but he was on the brink of sleep when they were rudely interrupted be an almighty banging of the front door which was quickly followed by a chorus of shouting from downstairs.

'Jesus Christ.' Miles exclaimed as he was shocked out of his slumber.

'Sorry.' Tris mumbled without meeting his eyes.

'What's going on?' Miles queried.

'They argue.' Tristan stated glumly, fiddling with his nails.

Then it clicked in to place. Miles had known for a while now that Tristan's parents had a bit of a rocky relationship, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad. All marriages were unstable and Tris always managed to cover the reality of how much he'd been through so well that Miles hadn't been susceptible enough to notice any of the signs that might have suggested his parents were constantly at each other's throats.

'Are they always like this?' Miles asked.

'All. The. Time.' Tris answered, emphasising each word which helped Miles conclude that this was pretty normal for him now.

Suddenly a huge crash that sounded like glass smashing followed an explicit insult screamed by Tristan's mother. Clearly it wasn't just his family that was screwed up. Wincing with concern, he felt Tris tense up beside him.

'Should we do anything?' Miles questioned tentatively.

'I better go and stop them from killing each other and let them know you're here.' Tris replied.

Miles wasn't sure about that. Whatever was going on downstairs didn't sound good and it made him uncomfortable to think Tristan was about to walk into a battle zone. At the same time though, this wasn't his house. He wanted Tris safe, but he also didn't want to patronise him. He dealt with this day in day out a lot better than he did by the looks of it, so against his better judgement he let Tristan get up, fix his jeans and head wordlessly out of the room.

Straining his ears as hard as he could the yells were still unintelligible through the floorboards. After a few minutes, inquisitiveness got the better of him and he sneaked out to the landing, convincing himself it was for Tristan's benefit rather than his own. Crouching down on the staircase he began to listen in –

'You son of a bitch! How could you?' came a female voice that he assumed was Mrs Milligan.

'Mom?' he heard Tristan say.

'I didn't fucking do anything!' a male voice yelled out, slightly further away.

'I saw you! You bastard! I SAW YOU!' Mrs Milligan screamed hysterically.

'You're crazy.' Her husband stated.

'Mom!' Tristan tried again, louder in an attempt to get his presence in the room noted.

'Oh you think I'm crazy? You want to see crazy to do you? Well I'll show you fucking crazy!' Mrs Milligan screeched back. Miles didn't know what exactly happened but the huge crash of china against a wall told him everything he needed to know. His gut twisted, hoping nobody had been hurt, she seemed pretty damn crazy.

'Cut it out you psychopathic bitch!'

Insults were hurled back and forth along with a few more breakable objects for what seemed like an eternity before Miles heard Tristan shout.

'STOP IT RIGHT NOW!'

The room fell silent. It seemed as if the two adults in the room had finally realised that their youngest son was in the middle of their argument and swiftly they managed to get their emotions back in check.

'Sorry Tristan honey, your father and I were having a little – um…'

'Disagreement.' Mr. Milligan filled in quickly.

'I heard.' Tristan stated in an emotionless tone that Miles had never heard from him before.

'Mom, I've got a friend upstairs, he needs somewhere to crash for a bit. Is that okay?' Tristan asked.

'You've got a friend here?' Mrs Milligan reiterated incredulously.

'Yes, he's in my room.'

'Honey you should have told us there were guests in the house!' She continued, clearly embarrassed that their confrontation had been overheard by an unexpected pair of ears. Miles heart tugged slightly with the knowledge that Tristan's parents didn't give a damn about arguing in front of him, but instead cared about the opinions of strangers. Tristan didn't even bother to explain himself.

'Is it okay if he stays here?' he asked again, seemingly wanting to get their approval as soon as possible so he could leave them to their squabble.

'Yes, yes that's fine as long as he obeys the house rules.'

'Wish you two would obey the house rules.' Tristan muttered under his breath so quietly Miles had to try and make out what he said.

'Enough Tristan, this is between your father and me.'

'Well quit shouting around the whole house about it then!' Tristan fired back before storming across the room.

Miles froze as he past the staircase, not wanting to get caught prying into business that wasn't his own. Luckily though Tristan didn't even look in his direction as he stalked into what Miles remembered to be the kitchen. When he heard the back door slam, Miles stood up as quietly as he could, grimacing when the stairs creaked, and crept stealthily down the stairs to follow him.

Miles took a second once he got into the kitchen undetected to note a few things he hadn't had time to see earlier. Dishes were piled high in the sink, the walls were a shade of unpleasant yellow and there was a table to eat at which only had two chairs to accompany it. This definitely was nothing like the Hollingsworth kitchen that was packed full of gourmet ingredients and tasty snacks twenty-four seven. In pursuit of Tris he turned the handle on the back door, and had to pull at it hard before it managing to wedge it open.

Miles found Tris in the back yard, in the middle of executing a beautiful three-pointer. Tristan really had gotten so much better at basketball. He was underestimated in the team because of who he was as a person. People pretty much expected him to jump in fright if a ball was hurled at him, but those who actually took a second to appreciate him knew that he was a pretty damn good athlete now.

'Are you alright?' Miles asked as he watched the perfectly executed shot soar through the hoop without even touching the sides. Tristan whipped round, surprised by the disturbance before realising it was him and visibly relaxing, jogging after the ball.

'Yeah I'm fine. You're allowed to stay by the way.' Tristan replied, apparently more focused on his dribbling technique.

'Oh cool. They seemed to have quietened down.' Miles stated, playing it as if he knew nothing.

'Yeah. Doubt it will stay that way though.'

'Why didn't you ever tell me about this Tris? Like I knew they argued and whatever but you never told me it was this bad.' Miles questioned, leaning back against the door frame as he tucked one ankle behind the other and watched as Tristan focused on adjusting his aim.

'Yeah, well. You had a lot going on.' Tris replied, the shot wobbling in.

Miles had never felt so grateful and selfish at the same time. His best friend turned boyfriend hadn't even bothered to tell him about his own problems because he was busy trying to help him with his. Tristan had put up with his shit for so long and never even batted an eyelid because that's just who he was.

_You're the most loveable guy I know._

'Besides I'm used to it. They don't care about anything else except their pathetic arguments. Half of the time it's like I'm not even here. It's not all bad though I guess, I get to do what I want really.'

'I care about you.' Miles stated immediately, the brutal honesty controlling his vocal cords.

Tristan did look at him then, holding the ball in two hands at his chest. Those big wide eyes pleading for that to be true, after experiencing years of rejection or ambivalence he, just like everyone else, needed to know that he was important to someone.

'Promise?' he asked, childlike, his innocence bleeding through him.

'Promise.' Miles confirmed with a smile.

Miles took his cue to lighten the moment and strode over to his other, better half. Batting the ball out of Tristan's hands he picked it up and turned to Tris, raising an eyebrow in a challenge.

'One on one?'


	17. Rocky Road

Miles's first night in the Milligan household wasn't going too bad considering how it had started off. Tris's parents had quit arguing and were now settled in separate rooms which appeared to be the best solution for everyone all round. After what had meant to be a friendly one on one got competitive between the two of them they were now settled back in his bedroom. He'd let Tris win their first to five shootout which was worth every second to see the glee on Tris's face, although by the way he was carrying on, he was never going to live it down. To make up for it Miles had been thrashing him at Call of Duty for a couple of hours on the Xbox and although the glory was beautiful, when Tris suggested watching a movie he happily accepted the welcome break from the concentration that was tiring his eyes.

He'd briefly met Tristan's parents earlier when they had come in from their basketball session in the yard. Mrs Milligan had greeted him politely enough, but hadn't really seemed to be too concerned about who he was or why he was there, which was alright by him. Once they found out he was the son of the famous Mr Hollingsworth who was currently on the run from home they might not be so uninterested about putting him up in their home. She was a curvy woman, with light brown hair and she had Tristan's full plump mouth. She was definitely attractive and Miles could assume that Tris had probably spent more time with her growing up that he had with his father by their similar taste in bright clothes.

When Miles had actually met Mr Milligan he'd had to do a double take. His genetics had clearly been stronger than his wife's because Tristan looked just like him, and so did his brother judging by the photographs that were framed in the living room. He was tall, and had Tristan's long limbs. The eyes though. The eyes were what made Miles feel slightly uneasy, they were identical to Tristan's in every way. The frame, the colour and the lashes, all the same. It was like looking into Tristan's future. His reaction to him staying in their house was even more disinterested that Tristan's mothers, only acknowledging him with a half-assed wave when Tris had tried to introduce them, seemingly more concerned about the phone call he was in the middle of.

Miles knew better than to pry too far into what was going in between Tristan's folks, he knew that he would tell him when he was ready. So they had instead retreated back to their own little world, where everything felt just that little bit less complicated. As a result, Miles now found himself chilling under the duvet in his comfiest hoodie, waiting for Tris to return with a selection of snacks to accompany the film. He'd been gone so damn long Miles had torn a piece of paper out of one of Tristan's schoolbooks and was now folding it deftly into a 3D shape in an attempt to cure his own impatience. Hearing Tristan's light feet jogging back up the stairs, he yelled out to get his attention.

'Where the hell have you been?'

'Take a chill pill! Perfection takes time.' Tristan answered, entering the room armed with a huge bowl of steaming popcorn, two bags of chips and a bottle of cola. Chucking them down besides Miles on the bed Tristan turned off the main light, leaving the only source of brightness in the room coming from a small night light on the bedside table.

'I didn't ask for perfection, I asked for popcorn.' Miles retorted with no real malice behind his words as he began to dig in to the goodies in front of him.

'Yeah well now you've got it, so shut up and press play.' Tris shot back, pulling back the covers and snuggling in at the other end of the bed. Miles didn't really get why Tris hadn't got in his side, but he decided to leave it for now so that they could both have the food equidistant between them. Pressing play on 21 Jump Street, an explosion of flavour exploded in his mouth as he swallowed the popcorn Tris had spent so long preparing, which actually now seemed to have been time well spent.

'Oh my god, this is so good.' Miles spluttered through a mouth full of food.

'The secret is Dil Spice.' Tristan giggled and Miles grinned fondly thinking back to the first time he had heard that claim in the Degrassi school corridors.

About an hour into the movie which had been spent with Tristan constantly nattering on about how good looking Channing Tatum was, Miles heard his phone vibrating somewhere in his backpack that he'd thrown carelessly down on Tris's floor. Shifting his upper half so he didn't interrupt Tristan who seemed comfortably nestled on his legs he reached across and pulled the bag over to him and rummaged for his phone. After far too much effort he found it buried right at the bottom and when he checked the screen he wished he hadn't bothered. He had five missed calls, three from his dad, one from his mother and one from Frankie. As his sister was the only one who had bothered to leave a message he held his phone at his ear and listened to her frantic voicemail.

'_Miles, you need to come home. I didn't say anything, really I didn't, but Mom was cleaning your room and she noticed some of your stuff missing. She went straight to Dad and now it's all kicking off. He's going to find you Miles, you know he will, please just come home. It's so close to the end of the campaign, this can't happen now, he'll never forgive you. Please bro, just call me back okay?' _

Miles felt his stomach turn. He couldn't go back now, not while his Dad was this angry, he would kill him. He didn't even want to, but he was worried about leaving his younger siblings there, if he wasn't there for his dad take his shit out on, what if he turned on one of them? Worry racked him and he immediately regretted eating all of that junk food as an unbearable sickening feeling began to force itself through his body.

'Who was it?' Tristan mumbled sleepily.

'Frankie.' He answered.

'What did she want?' Tris questioned further, pushing himself up so he could assess the seriousness of the situation.

'My dad knows I've gone.' Miles uttered. He felt the blood draining from his face, he knew this was inevitable, but he hadn't planned for it to happen so soon. He wasn't prepared yet.

'It will be okay, he won't find you here.' Tristan tried to console, seeing Miles turn visibly pale.

'You don't know him.' Miles shot, sounding harsher that he meant to.

'Well what do you wanna do?' Tris replied hesitantly, desperately trying to say the right thing.

Before Miles even got to consider a question that he didn't have an answer to his phone buzzed again. Expecting to see the name of one of his family members to flash up on the screen he was surprised by the caller ID. **Maya**. Hiding the phone from Tristan's view, he hooked his legs out of bed and got up to leave the room.

'I got to take this. Be right back.' Miles voiced, not looking back at Tris as he left the room.

'Okay.' He heard Tris speak softly, heavy with concern as he closed the door behind him.

Moving to the bathroom where his conversation couldn't be overheard he dragged the green phone symbol across the screen and took the call.

'Maya?'

'Miles! Where the hell are you, everyone is trying to get hold of you!' came her panic-stricken voice.

Miles didn't really want anyone to know where he was, Frankie already knew and that was enough of a risk in itself. The last thing he wanted to do was implicate Tristan as a target.

'What do you want Maya?' Miles stood firm.

'I've just had your Dad round at my house looking for you. He was convinced you were staying here with me. I told him that I hadn't even heard from you but he didn't believe me. I thought he was actually going to search my house Miles, have you seriously run away from home?' she gabbled.

'Yeah. I don't want to be there anymore Maya.' He replied miserably, feeling guilty that he'd got Maya involved in this too.

'Miles you can't just get up and leave home! Where are you staying? Please tell me you're not on your own.' Maya answered, anxiety filling her voice.

'It's fine Maya, calm down. I'm not on my own.' Miles tried to reassure her.

'Who are you with then?' She interrogated. Miles couldn't decide whether her tone was filled with annoyance, frustration or jealousy or a combination of all three. He considered telling her, he really did. He did sort of want her to know but at the same time he wasn't sure how she would react and without being certain, he couldn't trust her.

'It doesn't matter Maya.' He stated.

'Miles, please talk to me. He wanted to know where Tristan lives, but I played dumb. Are you with him? What's happening?' she enquired in her most persuasive tone that Miles knew so well. He wanted to cave and tell her everything, because old habits die hard and there had always been something about her that managed to convince him to.

'I can't.' Miles muttered, using all of his willpower.

'Has he gone now?' he continued, changing the subject before she could sway him otherwise.

'Yeah, about half an hour ago.' She answered, annoyed at his rejection of her help.

'Good, I'm sorry Maya okay, I didn't mean for you to get involved in this.' Miles stated, truthfully.

'I don't think he's going to stop looking Miles. For everyone's sake, go home okay?'

'If I want your opinion I'll ask for it.'

'Good night Miles.' she replied and cut the call.

Now what the fuck was he supposed to do? He was putting people he cared about at risk, just like he always did, because he was selfish. He couldn't go home right now, he'd end up with his head on a platter. Even though he would never admit it to anyone, his father frightened him. He had so much power and that meant he could control everyone and everything around him. Frankie was right, he would find him and it wasn't going to take long.

A gentle knocking at the bathroom door interrupted his rapid firing thoughts and made him jump out of his skin.

'Miles?' Tris enquired as he pushed the door open slightly.

'Just give me a second please Tris.' Miles responded, needing some time to get his head together.

'Please don't push me away.' came Tristan's defeated reply.

'I'm not pushing you away okay? I just need a minute, is that alright with you?' Miles snapped.

'Who were you on the phone to?' Tris pushed, not wanting to be kept out of the loop in his own house. He wanted to be Miles's escape, but why did it always have to be on his terms?

Miles considered telling the truth for a split second but quickly decided it wasn't going to be worth the aggravation he was going to get from Tristan if he did. He knew that if Maya's name even surfaced that would be what Tris focused on. It would eat away at him and he wouldn't be able to let it go, a small white lie seemed the easier option for both of them.

'Winston.' He answered clutching at the first name that came to his head.

'What did he want?' Tris said, his questions unrelenting.

'Just leave it please Tris. I need to think.' Miles responded, brushing him off as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

'Come on Miles, I care about you.'

'I don't need you to care!' Miles yelled, hating himself the second the words had flown so spitefully from his sharp tongue.

_I don't need you to worry about me._

Tristan had heard this all before. This was what Miles did, he pushed people away because that was how he protected himself from getting hurt. Is this where they were in there relationship, after everything, were they still back there? Did Miles still not trust him? He was in his house, in his bed, and still he couldn't bring himself to confide in him.

_Circling back to the starting point? Oldest trick in the book. _

'Fine. If that's how you're gonna be, then fine.' Tristan retaliated and he stormed back down the hallway to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Miles ran both of his hands down his face in anguish, sighing heavily. He didn't ever mean to shut Tristan out, but how could he tell him the truth? He could he tell him that his own father terrified him, that he was searching his ex-girlfriend's house for him, that he worried about the safety of his own siblings? If Tristan knew how much of a coward he really was, he would leave and Miles wasn't sure what he would do if he did.

Pacing back and forth for another twenty minutes Miles tried to work out how he could fix this, always ending up back at the drawing board. His dad wasn't going to find him tonight, it was too late now. In the morning though, the hunt would start all over again. At least he had tonight, maybe he could think up a plan before morning. That meant the most important problem at the moment was potentially having to sleep in the bath. Taking a deep breath, he headed out to find Tristan.

He knocked on the bedroom door and waited for a response that didn't come. Hesitantly he turned the door knob and peered around the barrier, finding Tris huddled up in the bed, facing the wall.

'Tris?' he tried.

'Go away Miles.' Tristan responded.

'I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to yell at you.'

'Yeah well you did didn't you? Just like you always do.' Tristan fired back, turning around to throw him the frostiest look he could manage.

'I'm sorry. I won't do that again okay? It's just my family, you know it stresses me out.'

'My family stress me out too, doesn't mean I take it out on you.'

'I know. That cause you're a better person than me.' Miles answered, meaning those words. He walked over to Tris and sat on the edge of the bed, running his hand down his side as if the small gesture of affection might express his guilt without words needing to.

'Here I made something for you.' Miles spoke, an idea sparking in his brain. He reached down to the floor and picked up the swan he had successfully finished folding earlier and held it out to him.

'You can do origami?' Tris asked with interest, taking the swan delicately and examining it.

'Yeah, I learnt when I was a kid.' He confessed, smiling slightly as Tristan's eyes lit up.

'You never fail to surprise me Hollingsworth.' Tristan commented quietly, voicing his thoughts out loud as he began to soften.

'Is that a good thing?'

'Not always.' Tris reprimanded.

'I really am sorry, can't we just go back to spending the night?' Miles asked.

'Only if you never tell me not to care about you again. It's not a choice alright? I wish it was, but it's not.' Tristan explained and Miles realised how much calmer he felt once he knew that Tristan wasn't going to just stop worrying about him. Sometimes it was like he needed someone to worry about him because without it he felt worthless.

'Deal.' Miles agreed, leaning down to leave a light kiss on Tristan's lips because he just couldn't make himself resist.

When Tristan reciprocated without complaint, Miles pulled the covers back and got into bed beside him. Wrapping his arms around his waist, Miles tucked his head under Tristan's chin and cuddled into him, hearing his heartbeat in his right ear. In return, Tris placed an arm around his shoulders and held him there, understanding Miles's need to be close to someone, to feel wanted. Miles breathed Tristan in deep, his musky scent seeming so familiar, so comforting. He focused on listening to his heart and let it calm him because if he only got to be with Tristan in his home for one night, he wanted to enjoy it.


End file.
